Double Schimmel

June 17, 2005

Robert Schimmel stopped by to sit in for the news and Mike Walker’s Gossip Game today.

Gary said he and Will were discussing how Bob looked and Will thought he looked too thin while Gary thought he looked ok. Howard just wanted to know why the two were discussing how another guy looks.

When Bob came in, he blamed 4 days a week of Pilates for his current look. Bob said he visited SIRIUS’ offices yesterday and was very impressed with what he called the, “NASA Control Center” they have over there. He said he was there to do a show with David Brenner and they saw Howard’s name all over the place. Howard told Bob a little about the studio they are building him and said he absolutely cannot wait to get there. Howard wondered why Bob didn’t have his own show over there since everyone, including Cousin Brucie, seems to be getting one.

Bob told the story of how he recently got in trouble for making fun of Siegfried and Roy. Everything probably would have been OK except he was asked not to do it, then did it anyway, got warned and then did it again. He told everyone that he also got in trouble during his first ever corporate standup gig. He said something about the episiotomy his wife got during the recent birth of their son and how the doctor told him that it was necessary to help get the baby out, but Bob didn’t think the kid needed help the way he fell out like a school bag off the back of a pickup truck. He said just about the whole roomed emptied out after this.

Howard asked about the glasses Bob was wearing and, believe it or not, Bob had a funny story to tell about those too. Bob said he was taking his daughter to school one day and all of a sudden got double vision, which really freaked him out. He said he went for a CAT scan which showed nothing and his doctors said its just something that will fix itself over time. Meanwhile, his doctor gave him an eye patch to wear, and when he said he couldn’t wear it on stage, his doctor told him to develop some pirate content for his routine instead. Bob said he found an eye doctor who prescribed special prism glasses for him that refocused his eyes back to single vision so he wouldn’t have to wear a patch anymore. Artie tried them on and said they were freaky. Howard didn’t want to try them, although he did tell Bob to call him if got any X-ray vision specs. Robin told him to look on the bright side, while he’s got this problem, it will always appear that he has twice the audience.