I Read the News Today

July 26, 2005

Howard opened the show this morning talking about an article in the paper alleging that Osama Bin Laden once tried to distribute poisoned cocaine in the US. According to the paper, the Columbian drug dealers must have gone to business school because they figured it might be bad for business to sell large amounts of drugs to terrorists.

Artie had read they were also afraid of US reprisals if it ever became known they were participating in a scheme like this. Besides, as Artie pointed out, drugs kill enough people in the US, why mess with a good thing. Also in the news this morning was an even more disturbing story about the possible closing of rock club icon, CBGBs. Howard hadn’t finished reading the story so he wasn’t exactly sure why it was closing, but he did know that Soprano star and E Street Band member, Steven Van Zandt, was trying to raise money to keep the place open. This led to a discussion of the reasons clubs close in general.

Artie thought Ecstasy had a lot to do with it (not specifically CBGBs though) because nobody drinks when they are high on X. Artie said he tried X once and didn’t really have a great time. He said he started the night out with a chick who he later found making out with some other guy in the bathroom and ended up at home in his basement trying to pleasure himself to a “WKRP in Cincinnati” re-run. He said he felt great the whole time, but realized afterwards what a loser he would become if he did that all the time.