The World vs. Kathy Griffin

August 2, 2005

After Howard yelled at Gary for not bringing in Kathy Griffin when he first asked, she came into the studio to promote two shows she has coming up. Before she got into that, she accused one of the interns of being either drunk or high. The intern came in and defended himself, saying he was just tired. Baba Booey said the intern in question was a great worker, but that he does often seem to be a half second behind. Another intern commented that when she was in the bathroom she could hear Kathy talking from two hallways away. Kathy didn’t understand why there was animosity between her and the interns.

Howard mentioned how Kathy seemed to be alienating herself from her Hollywood peers. Apparently her former “Suddenly Susan” costar, Brooke Shields, stopped talking to her because of a story Kathy told about Brooke’s mother on her DVD, “Allegedly.” Kathy was hurt that Brooke would throw away their friendship because of one comment, but she refused to change how she does her act. Kathy didn’t help her cause by not sending Brooke a gift when she had her baby recently, though. Another celebrity who seems steering clear of Kathy is Ellen DeGeneres. Kathy tried to get on Ellen’s talk show, but was turned down. She thought it was because “Ellen” is a celebrity-friendly program, while Kathy makes her living making fun of celebrities.

Kathy Takes Over Bravo

One of the shows Kathy is out promoting is “Kathy Griffin: My Life on the D-List,” a reality show which airs at 10 p.m. tomorrow on Bravo. Kathy said when you do a show like this where the cameras are always following you around, you can’t just sit there and do normal things like watch television. However, she said that unlike other reality shows, nothing in hers is staged. She said when the cameras followed her to her stand-up acts, she made arrangements ahead of time for the cameramen to go with her. Even though her husband, Matt, appears on the show, there’s no lovemaking on it. She promised there were no scenes of her using the bathroom either. Kathy’s other show is a stand-up special called “Kathy Griffin is Not Nicole Kidman,” which airs at 9 p.m. tomorrow on Bravo. She said she grills celebrities like Tom Cruise, Oprah Winfrey, and Clay Aiken on it, which is her favorite thing to do.

The Love Life of a Celebrity

Howard brought up the fact that Kathy has a strange dating history. She admitted to dating bisexuals throughout her life. She also dated a midget, who was 4’6″. She said she felt weird when she walked hand-in-hand with him because it was like she was walking with a child. She insisted that the two of them didn’t have sex during their relationship. In fact, they only kissed once. Kathy said the midget wasn’t a good kisser and he was cheap, which are turnoffs for her.

The conversation then turned to Matt. Kathy said when they first got married he was a little chubby, but then after they were together he gained a great deal of weight. He tried to get his stomach stapled, but he didn’t weigh enough to have the procedure, despite hiding weights on his ankles and in his pockets when he visited the surgeon. Howard asked if she thought he gained the weight to get rid of her. Kathy thought that idea was ridiculous.

Ralph Causes Trouble, Again

Ralph called in to ask Kathy how old she really was. He said he read two stories about her during the weekend, and one said she was 38 while the other reported she was 42. Kathy said she doesn’t reveal her age because there’s a stigma in show business against women who reach a certain age. Ralph thought that was true, but that it didn’t apply to Kathy. Ralph also mentioned Kathy’s botched LASIK eye surgery, which blurred the vision in her right eye. She said the whole ordeal was a nightmare, and that she wouldn’t recommend the procedure to other people. Ralph wanted to know if she got the procedure for free, which she did. He then said she shouldn’t be so surprised it didn’t go well, and that you get what you pay for. Kathy mentioned how she feels Ralph is gay.

Although Howard wouldn’t go that far, he did say he was confident Ralph has at least experimented with men at some point in his life. Robin thought he could never come out because he would lose all his friends. Kathy also told how she’s been trying to get free furniture by promising manufacturers press coverage when her house is featured in magazines and on television. Ralph thought Kathy should’ve learned her lesson about getting free things from her eye surgery.