The Proudest Parents in Radio

Highlights of the quiz Ben Stern took about his son, Howard

August 26, 2005

Howard’s mother, Ray, had been in the green room during the game that challenged Ben’s knowledge of his own son, and Gary said she spent the entire time laughing at Ben’s answers. When she came into the studio, Ben wanted to know why she didn’t take the quiz. Howard said it was because she actually knows him, so it wouldn’t have been much of a game.

Sal told Ben it was an honor to be in his presence because of his magical sperm, but Ben said he knew so little about Howard that he questioned if he was even his father. Robin pointed out that Ben only got two more questions right than Rhonda’s dad would’ve gotten, and he made her eat a cigarette the first time they met. Ben requested that this segment not air on “The Best of Stern” because he did so poorly. However, not all hope was lost because when Howard asked him what Debra’s middle name was, he did say Jennifer.

Howard pointed out that Ben, who is 82, and Ray, who is 77, are models of health, both physically and mentally. He added that he is working on getting them their own show at SIRIUS. Benjy wanted to know if they were ever offended by anything Howard did on the show. Howard mentioned there was one time when his mother scolded him for crossing a line and he apologized to her. Although Howard wouldn’t reveal the specifics, Artie guessed it was the time Howard called him fat.

Howard told another story about how Gary’s mother once called Ray to discuss how poorly Howard was treating Gary on the air. Ray then got in touch with Howard to yell at him for his behavior. Gary said he felt like such a tool because he was close to 30-years-old then and his mom was fighting his battles for him. He also mentioned that when Howard called to apologize that night, Gary told him to give it to him twice as hard the next day so he could feel like a man again.