An Update From the Bowl

November 1, 2005
Photo: The Howard Stern Show

Jason relayed a report from Tim Sabean, the program director at Howard 100, at the High Pitch Craptacular, that High Pitch had consumed three pounds of meat and was ready to drop his first bomb. In the meantime, Howard took the opportunity to go over all the bets that had been placed last on the event. Howard mentioned that he had $500 wagers with Fred and Artie, both of whom thought Eric would create more than 3.5 pounds of feces during the day, while Robin, who also took the over, bet Gary $200. Further, Robin also bet Artie $200 that Eric would relieve himself more than four times during his 24-hour shift.

Jeff the Drunk got on the phone and told Howard that it was weird listening to Eric do nothing but eat. Howard decided he wanted to bet on how much Eric’s first movement would weigh, but first wanted some information about what Eric last ate before his shift, and when he last relieved himself. Jason, who was getting updates directly from Shuli, told Howard that Eric ate Taco Bell for dinner, and that his last visit to the toilet took place at 9 p.m. With this information, Robin bet Howard, Fred and Artie $100 a piece that his first defecation wouldn’t produce a pound of material.

You Can’t Do That on Radio

Photo: The Howard Stern Show

As Howard got word that Eric was on the bowl, Gary came into the studio announcing that they were almost out of delay. Howard wondered why any of the discussion he was having had to be censored and Gary said it was because he was describing an excretory function. Gary added that Tom informed him that, in addition to running out of delay time, he was running out patience as well.

Howard promised that as soon as he received word about how much Eric’s first movement weighed, he’d move on to a different topic. Howard went on to say that since this was the kind of radio he wants to be doing, he simply can’t wait to get to SIRIUS.

A Meager Output

Photo: The Howard Stern Show

Jeff told Howard that while Eric was going, he had his dog on his lap and that the dog was growling the entire time. Jason then informed Howard that Eric’s first movement weighed half-a-pound and that Eric is so big that he got stuck on the special toilet they had arranged for him at his apartment.