Saturday Night Fever

Which 'Saturday Night Live' should Howard do?

December 1, 2005

Howard brought up that he’s still having difficulty deciding which “Saturday Night Live” he wants to host: the December 10th broadcast with Alec Baldwin and Shakira, or the following week’s episode, hosted by Jack Black with Neil Young as the musical guest.

Howard noted that although it sounds like more people will tune into the December 17th episode, he didn’t like the idea of having to rehearse for the show the day of his final broadcast and wasn’t wild about the prospects of sharing the bill with Jack Black.

Howard then played a clip of Jack’s comments about him, which included that he wasn’t a good actor in “Private Parts” and that the fact that he got divorced while the premise of “Private Parts” was how strong his relationship with his wife was “redonkulous.”

Artie assured Howard, however, that he shouldn’t let anyone who uses the word “redonkulous” bother him.

Ralph called in and suggested that Howard do the “SNL” with Alec Baldwin. Ralph reasoned that, besides being a friend, Alec is also one of the best hosts on “SNL.”

In addition, Ralph said he felt like Howard would be wearing himself too thin if he had to concentrate on doing his final broadcast and then bolting afterward to rehearse for his appearance on “SNL.”

After Robin commented that she agreed with Ralph, Howard also pointed out that doing the December 10th episode would allow him to talk about it on the air the following week, a luxury he wouldn’t have with the December 17th broadcast.

However, Howard commented that meeting Neil Young would be a huge honor to him, and that he’d have to think about his options some more before settling on a date.

Showing Off Love for ‘The Factor’

While everyone was discussing ideas for the sketch Howard will appear in, Sal recommended that Howard agree to do whatever the writers said, but just talk about SIRIUS once the show started.

Howard responded that he’d never pull a stunt like that on “SNL,” but admitted that he might get off topic when he goes on “The O’Reilly Factor” sometime in the coming weeks.

Howard pointed out that there are several topics he’d like to bring up to Bill – like the sexual harassment suit he settled earlier this year – but added that, since “The Factor” is heavily edited before it’s broadcast, he didn’t think any of those discussions would make it on the air.

Howard went on to say, though, that he might ask Bill about all the merchandise he sells on his Web site.

Howard then played a clip of Bill reading a letter, allegedly written by fan, thanking him for putting out the “No Spin” varsity jacket, an item the man’s wife gave him for their anniversary.

Howard commented that the only reason the man’s wife gave him the jacket was because she knew no woman would approach him while he wore it.

Ralph added that, even if someone’s a fan of the show, he doubted he or she would want to advertise it on clothing.However, to no one’s surprise, Gary reported that Bill doesn’t sell just clothing on his site. Gary went on to mention that, in addition to the clothing line, Bill also offers doormats, men’s garment bags and jigsaw puzzles.

Howard commented that the reason he thinks Bill has resorted to selling so many products is because he became famous at a relatively old age and therefore feels like he has to get as much money as he can in a short period of time.

When Gary pointed out that Howard could take the same road as people like Bill and make good money while doing less work than he is now by selling merchandise, Howard told him he could never insult his audience in that way.