Feeling Like a Sap

December 5, 2005
Photo: The Howard Stern Show

Howard mentioned that he heard Gary had quite a weekend, and that he should be a candidate for Father of the Year based on all the things he does with his kids.

Gary then reported that he took his wife, Mary, and sons to get their Christmas tree on Saturday. Gary explained that since his kids like it when he cuts down their tree, he always takes them to this place about 40 minutes from his house — a tradition that he continued this weekend (even though he had an appearance Saturday night). Gary said that when people get to the lot, they have to take hayrides out to the trees. Once they’re there, Gary noted that the people have to hike a bit in order to get to the good trees.

After this aggravation, Gary commented that when his family finally decided on a tree, he began sawing. After a while, though, Gary admitted that his arms were getting tired, and that his sons’ attempts at helping were all but useless. However, Gary mentioned that after laboring for a while, the tree finally came down. Upon cutting off “hockey pucks,” which are 1 inch slices of the tree stump, for his boys and dragging the tree to the side of the road, Gary remarked that Mary took the kids for some hot chocolate.

Gary said that while they were gone and when the tree was delivered to his vehicle, he had to tie it to the top of his car himself. Gary commented that the tree was so heavy it took him a number of times before he was able to get it on the roof properly, and that after he had started to tie it down, someone pointed out that he had it on backward.

At the End of His Rope

When his wife and kids came back to the car, Gary admitted he wasn’t in the best of moods because of all the struggles he had endured because of the tree. Given this, Gary also admitted that he got into arguments with both Mary and one of his sons, and that he hasn’t spoken to his wife since Saturday afternoon.

Gary added that he was sure he and Mary would make up today when he apologized for his behavior, and went on to say that, as much time as cutting down his own tree takes, he loves doing it because it means so much to his sons.

More Reason to Worry

Photo: The Howard Stern Show

Ralph Cirella got on the line and told Howard he would’ve loved to have seen Gary cutting down his own Christmas tree, and wished the iNDEMAND cameras were there when he was doing it. Howard responded that he forgot the iNDEMAND camera was on him before his interview with Bill O’Reilly, which surprised him.

Howard proceeded to again bring up how Bill tried to make himself out to be a regular guy during their interview, and that he’d like to see The Howard 100 News follow him around for a month to expose what kind of glamorous life he actually leads. Ralph then pointed out that, although he thought Howard’s discussion with Bill went reasonably well, he didn’t like the lighting or the camera angles that were used while it was filmed.

When Howard informed Ralph that it’s his job to let him know when he doesn’t look good on camera, Ralph replied that he didn’t want to start bossing Bill’s people around. However, Howard warned Ralph that, in the future, he is to tell him directly when there’s a concern, and that he’ll handle the rest.