Let the Revelations Begin

March 6, 2006
Photo: The Howard Stern Show

Another Wack Packer in the studio was Kenneth Keith Kallenbach, who Gary said is booked next week to do his standup routine. Kenneth then agreed to give Howard a preview of what he’ll be showcasing next week. Following Kenneth’s routine – which included the jokes, “They told me to watch my drinking, so now I drink in front of the mirror” and “Two invisible people got married but their kids are nothing to look at” – King responded, “He’s so cheap, his father makes him take off his glasses when he’s not using them.” However, Howard informed King that his line wasn’t nearly as good as any of Kenneth’s. Howard then welcomed Captain Janks into the studio and noted that Nicole Bass was calling in from a hospital. Sal then read the following revelations that the Wack Packers gave for the contest: • When I was 12, I banged my friend’s mom, and 10 years later I banged the same friend’s wife• I put a wrapped cigar up my ass during phone sex• A friend took out my penis, measured it and then tongue-kissed me• I ripped off my blind neighbor by giving him $20 of the $200 his relatives had left me to give to him to pay his bills• I kissed a spouse of someone who used to be on the show• At 18, a family member put me on plane to deliver four kilos of cocaine