How Not To Impress An Idol

May 23, 2006

Eric the Midget called in to report that he called Katharine McPhee of “American Idol” yesterday after receiving her number from Howard in exchange for measuring his penis. Eric added that he left Katharine “a nice, brief message” explaining he was a fan and hoped he could meet her when she goes on tour. Howard then brought up the fact that a number of e-mailers suggested Eric wasn’t telling the truth when he reported his penis was five inches, but Robin claimed that she believed him. Eric also commented he measured himself before getting on the phone with Howard, so he didn’t do it while he was on the air with him. Upon finding out that Eric stood 3’5″, Artie admitted his penis was large in relation to his body size.

Howard wanted to know if Eric planned on calling Katharine again, even if she didn’t return his message and he said he would do so only to congratulate her if she won on “American Idol.” After Gary instructed Eric not to call Katharine again until after the “American Idol” finale, Ralph called in and noted Eric should’ve told Katharine in his message that he votes for his favorite singers “8,000 times” per episodes, so he could help her win if she was nice to him. However, Eric responded he couldn’t tell Katharine that because the most he ever voted in one night was 400 times.

Howard asked Eric to pretend he was calling Katharine so he could hear his message. Eric proceeded to leave a fake message, in which he wished Katharine luck before telling her he’d vote for her as often as he could. Howard told Eric he needed to get into more detail the next time he called Katharine about how often he votes, adding he should say he controls a block of 10,000 votes. When Eric responded by saying that he didn’t want to lie to Katharine, Artie informed him that men sometimes have to lie to attract women, adding he’s pulled the stunt himself in regard to the therapy he told Dana he was getting.