Listener Says He’s a Virgin, Aside From His Cat

As Howard took a call from a listener, the listener was talking to his mom, telling her he was on the phone with the cable company.

The caller then spoke to Howard, explaining he was obsessed with the show, but needed to keep it a secret from his parents because, at 23 years old, he was still living with them and earning just $100 every two weeks doing Internet work.

The caller proceeded to insist he gave his mom rent money on a regular basis, although Howard acknowledged he doubted that was the case. The caller next referred to himself as “a loner, stoner and a virgin” before adding he masturbated five times a day in his bedroom.

The caller then insisted he was “a virgin by choice,” mostly because he used to be “religious.”

Despite this (or because of it), the caller claimed he once had sex with his cat, which led Howard to give him his own regular-caller name, “Captain Cat F’er.”