The Sexbots Are Coming

Howard got David Levy, author of “Sex with Robots,” on the line to discuss society’s future of cyborg love. David predicted that the Real Doll was the first step and – about 40 years down the line – we can expect fully interactive robots to satisfy the needs of even the most perverted and ugly people.

Howard wondered how David became so interested in robot sex, and David explained that he was an international chess master and played a lot of computer chess. Robin laughed at David’s computer chess revelation, to which Howard took mock-offense. Howard asked David if sex with robots could be considered cheating, but David didn’t think so, as there’s no real emotional connection. David even suggested that sex robots could be a marital aid.

Gary then speculated that the whole world would fall apart if beautiful sex robots were available, as getting laid was the whole reason any man does anything to improve himself, and Howard agreed, saying that he would’ve given up on women if sex robots were available. Callers suggested some other developments in sex robot technology; “French” sexbots with stinky genitals, sexbots that like to clean house, and terrorist-placating sexbots.

Richard came in to ask if it would be gay if he had sex with a “male” sexbot, so David replied that sexbots could be used to explore or confirm any homosexual inclinations someone might have…and everyone else just thought it would be gay. Artie said it could be great to have a sexbot that looked like Angelina Jolie, as it could be programmed to never adopt black children. Richard wondered if scat fetishists could have sexbots that could fulfill their strange needs, but no one thought a robot could produce real excrement.