The Trials of Touching Yourself

April 23, 2008
Photo: The Howard Stern Show

Howard got back to his masturbation story, saying it took him forever because he had to change to darker underwear beforehand to avoid the embarrassing stains from post-whack “drippage.” Later, as he was trying to watch the video, the DVD’s confusing menus forced him to choose the outfit Gina wore, and then the “act” she would perform. After playing with the remote more than himself, the blow-job scene ended up featuring a distractingly large penis. Ronnie came in to say he recently serviced himself to the same video, and felt so weird about watching the scenes when Gina’s with her husband, he had to fast forward through them. Ronnie added that his dog goes crazy when he’s beating it, and Howard agreed, noting that he sent Bianca off to stay with his assistant so he could masturbate in private.