Tub of Lard Hits Dresser

Photo: The Howard Stern Show

Artie eventually showed up at 9:30, showed the crew his stitches and explained that he stumbled out of his bed and fell face-first into the corner of his dresser. Howard and Robin were freaked out by how close Artie’s wound was to his eye, and Artie continued, saying that blood sprayed everywhere. Artie told the crew that the hospital was swamped with prank calls while he was there, including one from a listener who claimed to be his brother and asked the nurse to “give my brother some medication to prevent him from turning into a tub of lard.”