HIS RESOLUTION: MORE LICKING AND SUCKING

HIS RESOLUTION: MORE LICKING AND SUCKING

May 6, 2009
Photo: The Howard Stern Show
John told the crew he was failing to fulfill his New Year’s resolution (“To suck all the juices from as many c’s and assholes as possible.”) this year: “I failed…they say they’re very complimented, but refuse.” Artie laughed that John’s dreams sounded like nightmares, and Howard agreed, telling John: “Can I give you some advice? When you get into this stuff with the girls, it makes you seem deranged.” John also admitted he couldn’t make rent on his old apartment because he spent so much money on whores. He listed cunnilingus, anilingus and blow-jobs without condoms as his favorite “girlfriend experience” activities: “The c’s taste like fish and the assholes taste like shit! These girls are Jewish cougars!” Howard advised John to be safe: “I bet this floor is cleaner than some of those whores you lick.” Artie agreed: “If you get sick and die, your existence would end.” John brightened: “That would be great!”