Counselor Nick is Here to Help

September 21, 2009
Photo: The Howard Stern Show

Nick DiPaolo stopped by to sit in on Robin’s news and laughed that he was hitting on Dominique in the green room: “She had a tick bite on her leg. I told her I was a camp counselor.” Nick said she wasn’t the type of girl you take out and your friends ask if you kissed her: “A girl like that? You get home and your friends ask you how many fingers you got in her ass – four or five?”

Bored with Road Gigs

Nick complained about life as a traveling stand-up, especially now that his wife won’t let him watch porn when he’s on the road: “My wife thinks that’s actually cheating on her too. Like I’m actually f’ing the television.” Then he has to put up with annoying audiences: “It’s hard when there’s a bachelorette party in the front row with dick hats on.” Or gay hecklers: “I’m afraid to pick on him. If he bites me, I’ll be dead in a week.” So he’s always glad get back home: “My wife still has the body of a 20-year-old. A 20-year-old boy.”