Lisa Lampanelli Reveals the Jokes HBO Tried to Censor

Lisa Lampanelli stopped by to promote her new HBO special, "Long Live the Queen," and sarcastically said she was jealous that Sal once called a black audience member "King Kong," because: "If I were funny, I'd have thought of that." Howard asked about an invite Lisa sent him last week, so Lisa explained it was a viewing party for her special at the Friar's Club: "It's a thing where you go, wow, I have to invite people."

Lisa told the crew that HBO tried to censor her special over two jokes: one that featured "American Idol" runner-up David Archuletta and another in which she tells Sarah Palin to stop having children: "A retarded kid is the warning shot of the reproductive system." Lisa laughed that she changed the Archuletta joke to Andy Dick because Archuletta is under 18 - but the Palin joke stayed: "I'm the executive producer."

Howard asked how Lisa felt about co-hosting Lisa G's cookie party, so Lisa laughed: "Lisa [G] really knows how to party like it's 1949." Lisa added that when she and Lisa G go out to dinner together, she has too pull teeth to get Lisa G's share of the tip: "I'm famous, Lisa, I have to leave 25 percent!" Lisa added that she was now dating again, but she refuses to date Asian dudes: "I like men like I like my coffee, not my urine."