Rosie O'Donnell is Scarred, Funny

Rosie O'Donnell stopped by to talk about her new Sirius XM radio show – on Channel 102 – and revealed that, like Artie, she had was disturbed by outliving a parent: "My mother died when she was 39 and that was a big reason why I left my [TV] show [when she was 39]." Rosie said most people who lose a parent early in life believe – like Artie – they wouldn't surpass the same age.

Rosie launched into an amazingly revealing confessional account of her childhood, best summarized by this quote: "There were other issues with my dad, which is needless to say." Howard asked if Rosie was careful not to let her kids into her sadness, but Rosie said the opposite was true: "I tell them everything...I'm funny, so that helps." Rosie cited George Takei as a fellow funny-person: "Artie, you better not get sick anymore because that guy's f'ing funny."

'Heavy-Hitter Lesbos'

Howard asked Rosie if she planned to start dating famous lesbians now that she's most likely going to be single, but Rosie blew it off: "I don't even think of dating to tell you the truth. With some heavy-hitter lesbo?" Howard listed Lindsay Lohan as a potential candidate, so Rosie explained her "anti-fame" dating rule: "Way too're not allowed to be famous if I date you." Rosie also claimed she'd never be interested in stealing Portia de Rossi from Ellen Degeneres: "I have an anti-fame rule!"

The Lange Family Therapist

Photo: The Howard Stern Show

Rosie told Artie she wanted to talk with his mom and sister: "I want to talk to them about how it is to love you." Artie laughed: "I don't think they know!" Rosie also said she once had a crush on Jackie "The Joke Man" Martling's ex-wife, Nancy: "I tried very hard to be friendly with her. I had a huge crush on Nancy." Rosie also revealed she once turned down a dinner invitation from Angelina Jolie: "First of all I was not single...also I was a little afraid of her. She's a little scary."