An Update on Sal’s Sex Life

December 2, 2009
Photo: The Howard Stern Show

Asked how things were going with his wife, Sal confessed that he had a new method of initiating sex: “I’ll tap the bed, like, ‘Time for action!'” Sal said his wife has taken to calling him ‘CBB’ – which stands for Commercial-Break Boy – explaining that she’ll wait for an ‘Oprah’ commercial break before letting him mount up: “She says, ‘Alright. Get on top, CBB.'”

Richard asked if Sal could finish before Oprah got back from the break, and Sal nodded: “Oh yeah. When you don’t get laid as often as I do, you can finish in seconds.” Sal added: “She used to call me ‘The Treadmill’ too…she looked at me more as a calorie burner than as a lover.”

Howard wondered why they were still together, but Sal just shrugged: “We get along. I don’t know how we do but we do.”

Photo: The Howard Stern Show

Howard wondered if Sal would be more dedicated to his wife’s pleasure if she were someone else, like Melissa Zapin. Sal said he would – especially if it were a long-legged woman like Mary Dell’Abate: “I just picture those legs wrapping around my head like a tarantula drawing a beetle in…she is one hot piece of vagine.”