Show Rundown: December 2, 2009
Howard Runs Into Ivanka Trump
An Update on Sal’s Sex Life
An Update on Sal’s Sex Life
Asked how things were going with his wife, Sal confessed that he had a new method of initiating sex: “I’ll tap the bed, like, ‘Time for action!'” Sal said his wife has taken to calling him ‘CBB’ – which stands for Commercial-Break Boy – explaining that she’ll wait for an ‘Oprah’ commercial break before letting him mount up: “She says, ‘Alright. Get on top, CBB.'”
Richard asked if Sal could finish before Oprah got back from the break, and Sal nodded: “Oh yeah. When you don’t get laid as often as I do, you can finish in seconds.” Sal added: “She used to call me ‘The Treadmill’ too…she looked at me more as a calorie burner than as a lover.”
Howard wondered why they were still together, but Sal just shrugged: “We get along. I don’t know how we do but we do.”
Howard wondered if Sal would be more dedicated to his wife’s pleasure if she were someone else, like Melissa Zapin. Sal said he would – especially if it were a long-legged woman like Mary Dell’Abate: “I just picture those legs wrapping around my head like a tarantula drawing a beetle in…she is one hot piece of vagine.”