Eric the Actor Begs the Stern Show for a Job

Wack Packer decides he suddenly does want to be a red carpet correspondent

August 18, 2010
Photo: The Howard Stern Show

Eric the Actor called in to say he still wanted to be the show’s red carpet correspondent at the Emmy Awards: “The one sticking point is the questions. I would do this for you or any other show if it wasn’t for–if it was not for the questions.” Howard refused to give up the funny questions: “That’s the whole point of sending you there.” Eric fumed: “They’re stupid. Juvenile. They’re below me.”

Howard and Fred said Eric had finally gotten it: “Exactly.” Eric finally relented: “I’ll put my dignity and respect for actors to the side for one day.”

But Howard said it was too late: “I don’t trust you…I can’t put you out there. It’s too important to us. I don’t trust the situation.” Eric became upset (“I will do it!”) so Robin tried to let him down easy: “We can’t take that chance.” Howard agreed: “We know he’s lying. We know he’s incapable.”

The Staff Decides Against Eric

Photo: The Howard Stern Show

The staff then voted on the issue. Fred, Doug Goodstein, Jason and Richard all voted no. Jon Hein (“I don’t know if he can help himself but work in his own stuff.”) and JD agreed: “I’m tired of his bullshit. He needs to learn a lesson.”

Howard, Robin and Will voted yes. Gary (“It’s not what he doesn’t get there, it’s the whole experience.”) and Benjy (“I believe in him and I think he’ll do a good job.”) made the most emphatic arguments. Howard said the majority had spoken: “Eric, it’s not happening. I tried.”

A Buzzing Little Bee

Photo: The Howard Stern Show

Johnny Fratto then called in to report that Eric had signed a contract with Beezid to be a ‘brand ambassador’–without reading, in the fine print, that he’d have to dress like a bee at public events: “He already signed it…it does say he has to dress like a bee. He signed it! It’s done!”

The six-week contract also had costume stipulations for Eric’s roommate: “Jon has to dress like a flower.”

Eric claimed he’d never honor the contract.