Show Rundown: September 28, 2010
Howard’s Anti-Bedbug Suit
Garry Shandling Returns to the Show
The Naked Cowboy Is Litigious
The Naked Cowboy Is Litigious
The Naked Cowboy stopped by to explain his lawsuit against Sandy Kane, The Naked Cowgirl, saying he’d long established copyright to the ‘Naked Cow_____’ market. He’s been working the streets of NYC for a decade: “In Times Square? I’ve been here over 10 years now. I [put in] over 321 days every single year. When I wasn’t here, I was in Mardi Gras, Panama City Beach–you know, Spring Break–and Daytona Biker Week.” The Naked Cowboy said he’d also broke ground legally–he’d been arrested in 49 other cities for his near-naked appearances before coming to Times Square: “When I got to Times Square, I was $49,000 in credit card debt from arrests.” Since moving to NY-metro area, he’s only been arrested in Times Square twice.
A Growing Industry
The Naked Cowboy said he made over $250,000 a year just charging for photos in Times Square, adding that he’d also become an ordained minister–the ‘basic [marriage] package’ will cost you $499. In addition to his photo and marriage work, he regularly makes appearances on TV and in movies as a fixture of Times Square life: “That’s all licensed content.” The Naked Cowboy said he and his lawyer had tried to avoid a lawsuit, but he was suing Sandy Kane, ‘The Naked Cowgirl’, because she refused to sign a licensing agreement: “She’s basically moving in on [my trademark]. Again, we did everything to avert the situation.”
The Naked Cowgirl No More
Sandy ‘The Naked Cowgirl’ Cane also came in [a little late] to answer the charges, first saying The Naked Cowboy was just plain mean: “He doesn’t have a nice bone in his undies.” The Naked Cowboy said he’d tried to resolve the dispute amicably–and by registered mail–for years: “Everything we’ve done has been documented from day one.” Sandy denied ever receiving paperwork: “He’s an f’ing liar. They have never ever contacted me.” Sandy argued that The Naked Cowboy had taken too long to slap her with a cease and desist notice three years after she started doing this, so Howard explained that there was no time limit on copyright infringement: “Maybe he thought you’d go away.” The Naked Cowboy said he was fine with it at first (“I saw it as complimentary to the brand.”) but quickly soured on The Naked Cowgirl’s X-rated work–like showing tourists her ‘Twatto.’
Meet Twatto
Howard’s interest was piqued, so Sandy explained that ‘Twatto’ was a growth on her vagina that she named ‘Twatto’ at some point: “People want a picture with something unique.” Howard thought she’d make more money and avoid a dispute if she just dropped ‘The Naked Cowgirl’ and called herself The Great Twatto. Gary agreed, suggesting she posed as The Naked Cowboy’s nemesis, “The Naked Indian.” Howard loved it: “And then you go to war!” Sandy (who is Jewish herself) said she planned to stand her ground: “His manager is like a–like an f’ing Jew bastard from Tennessee.”