Thea Vidale Will Fight You

Photo: The Howard Stern Show

Thea Vidale stopped by to catch up with the crew and said her comedy came from the rough childhood she’d suffered at the hands of her father: “He would say stuff like, ‘We don’t want you in this family.'”

When she was 15, Thea finally stood her ground: “I said, ‘If you hit me this time, I’m going to fight you like an n-word on the street’…he took all my clothes out my closet and threw them on the lawn.”

Thea laughed that the pattern only continued later: “And then I got married and got the same shit…when you get married to an abuser, he don’t show you he gon’ pop you in the eye. He show you how he love you. How he want you. He be layin’ that dick down.”

The abusive husband even once came at her with a machete, threatening to cut her clit off: “My head said, ‘Bitch move!’ And bitch moved…this negro was crazy as cat shit.”

Driven to Vagina

After repeated negative experiences, Thea turned away from men: “I went with women.” Thea said she liked ‘butch’ women, but not ones so butch that they act like men: “I’ll punch a bitch in the head. Like, ‘Bitch! It’s just an illusion, motherf’er!'” She keeps her cool with a steady pot regimen each morning: “A joint with a cup of coffee. I don’t smoke all day after that.”