Jerry Seinfeld Calls in & Patches Things Up

Jerry Seinfeld called in to catch up--and patch things up--with Howard, deadpanning: "It's great to be back on the show. God, this is a fantastic feeling."

Howard joked that Jerry must've made some financial mistakes if he was pursuing Stern Show-level exposure: "Did Bernie Madoff take all your money?"

Jerry said he honestly just wanted to make up: "You know I don't want to do things. No! Who wants to work?"

He then joked that people go on the Stern Show on their way up…and then again on their way down.

He Doesn't Have 30 Minutes for You

Jerry empathized with Howard's foreword dilemma: "There's nothing worse than a foreword. You know what it takes to write a foreword? It's a solid 30 minutes."

He understood Howard's guilt, though, saying he preferred collaboration over promotion--referencing his work on Colin Quinn's one-man show: "I love to help out guys like that--[guys] who I love, who I think are great, who just never could quite work their way through the system."

Jerry's Plush Workday

Howard asked what Jerry was up to these days, so Jerry shrugged: "I do the same thing you do. I just live. I live in a nice house." He doesn't even really spend much money: "You could easily ruin your fun if you bought too much stuff. Then all of a sudden you're a kid sitting in a pile of toys and you're bored and you're over-stimulated and you hate everything." Jerry said he kept an office in midtown Manhattan: "I go there every morning and I work on some stuff and I make calls and usually meet a friend for breakfast or lunch." His workday concludes pretty early: "I'm very good friends with Matthew Broderick. We go out to coffee in the afternoon a lot."

Kids, Strippers, and Michael Richards

Since they hadn't spoken in a while, Howard asked Jerry a series of 'catch up' questions. Jerry was game, first saying he enjoyed having kids later in life ("It's better when you're older, because nobody expects you to help.") and planned to keep stand-up act curse-free: "I don't need it."

Jerry also had questions of his own: "Do you still do all the madness with the strippers and midgets and all that?" Howard laughed: "The people demand it!"

Howard then asked about Michael Richards' n-word-laced stand-up meltdown, and Jerry gave a protective reply: "He made an unfortunate comedic choice."

Jerry said Michael was now living a quieter life: "He's doing a lot of photography now."

Howard thought Michael should pursue a different line of work: "He's got to make it up to black people. He has to cure malaria...he has to rebuild New Orleans."

Howard also thought it would have been nice if Jerry had taken Michael with him when he performed for the Obamas at Paul McCartney's White House special.

They're on the Ins

Before he hung up, Howard asked: "Are we on the ins or the outs?" Jerry laughed: "We're on the ins."