Jesse Ventura Has Surfaced

April 5, 2011
Photo: The Howard Stern Show

Former Minnesota Governor Jesse Ventura stopped by to promote his new book, ’63 Documents the Government Doesn’t Want You to Read,’ and told the crew his publisher had to fly him in on a private jet because of his lawsuit against the TSA: “I have metal in my body. So when I pass through the metal detector, I could go through it naked and it’s going to go off.” Given this, Jesse has to either submit to a body scan or a full body search. Jesse complained that the searches were a violation (It’s a sexual assault…they grope your genitals.) of his constitutional rights: “I’m tired of having to prove I’m innocent.”

The Body Tends to His Backyard

Jesse told the crew that while wintering in Mexico, he didn’t hear about the Japanese disaster and the recent US bombings in Libya until 5 days afterward (“I go to town once a week.”) but still hoped we tended to our own problems first: “How do you go out and tell the world what to do when your own backyard ain’t cleaned up?”

Jesse thought our Globe Cop-status would eventually backfire: “I’m waiting for one of these countries to bring the landing craft…the only way to get our country back is to destroy these two parties [Democrats and Republicans].”

He’s Got Theories

Jesse told Howard that the Japanese earthquake might have been caused by the US government’s weather control system: “It’s called HARP. It’s way up in Alaska…they shoot low level radio frequency way up to the ionosphere and ricochet it back to the earth.” The site is supposedly an ‘unclassified research center’ but “it’s clearly classified. They wouldn’t let me in.”