Show Rundown: August 16, 2011
Charlie Sheen Wishes Ashton Kutcher Well on ‘Two and a Half Men’
Howard’s Dream Job: Wedding Photographer
Dave Portnoy Crosses the Kiddie-Porn Line
Eric the Actor Is In Search of New Roles
Tossing Around Some ‘Small’ Roles
Tossing Around Some ‘Small’ Roles

Howard then pitched his ideas for Eric’s “In Plain Sight” role, but Eric turned each down, including; a stalker (“No. Because I’ve been accused of that in real life.”), a man who kills a dog (“As much as I love dogs, I’d have to say no to that.”), and a kiddie porn-addicted meth head (“Probably not.”) Eric also refused to play a little person who hides in a hamper at a child care center, the littlest member of Al-Qaeda, and a US senator who gets caught blowing a Spanish gardener.
Eric was more receptive to John’s ideas: a hoarder, a con-man, or a hit-man–so long as the character wasn’t gay. J
ohn thought Eric should be more flexible, as the show was about individuals in the witness protection program: “These people don’t really come from the cream of society.”
Robin repeated her doubts about Eric’s claim to an acting career: “Most actors have to take whatever role there is!”
Before Howard would put Eric in touch with John, he demanded Eric repeat after him: “Howard Stern is a great guy and I love him for the opportunities he gets me.” Eric relented, and Howard crowed: “Well, thank you! Even if I put the words in you mouth.”