Embrace Your Jelly

Howard contemplates letting himself go

September 8, 2011
Photo: The Howard Stern Show

Early in the show, Howard told Robin that his ass was deteriorating: “I did 3 sets of lunges, and literally, I can barely walk. And you should see. My ass is more disgusting than ever. It’s filled with cellulite. I would never show it to you. You would laugh. And you’d never make love to me. You would be so [disgusted], you would dry up. You would need so much KY, they would run out of KY…I mean, I’m a man and I have cellulite. It’s disgusting. Poor Beth.”

Howard said we should look to Jack LaLanne and Jack Nicholson and ask ourselves who lived better: “I’m going to age like Jack Nicholson! That’s right. I don’t care if I can open my pants with my belly.”

Robin had her doubts: “Do you think Jack feels good physically?” Howard said he did, repeating his disdain for exercise: “It’s all for nothing. Get fat and enjoy it…I can’t even see my penis because my belly’s protruding. And then I see my ass.”