Eric the Midget Care Instructions

December 13, 2011
Photo: The Howard Stern Show

Johnny then got to his business: he’d successfully brokered a deal between Eric the Midget and the producers of “In Plain Sight.”

Eric was on the line as well, adding that he’d already begun making flight arrangements: “I will be calling my oxygen company in the morning.”

Johnny said the show had promised to pay much more than its initial offer of $3,000: “It went up pretty drastically.” A

s a courtesy, Johnny even included special care instructions for Eric the Midget:

1. Place Eric in a location away from drafts and out of direct sunlight.

2. Cover the floor with 2″ of bedding. Pine wood shavings are best because they’re absorbent and non-toxic.

3. Keep a filled/clean water bottle attached to his wheelchair at a height that is reachable by Eric, but doesn’t touch the bedding. If the bedding gets wet, Eric could get sick.

4. And finally, and most important of all, do not get Eric wet. And never, ever, ever feed him after midnight.