To Be a Sh*tt*er Father or Not To Be?

February 5, 2013
Photo: The Howard Stern Show

Pressed for a “good” revelation, Gary went right to a seemingly benign confession: “Last year my wife and I were considering having a baby. We were extremely close, but we ended up changing our minds.” The man in question was either Jason, Richard, or Howard. But the revelation was really only a revelation if it was Howard–who confessed: “It was me. … We came close. We sat down. We were really talking about it.” Howard continued: “I was hesitant and then, all of sudden, I opened my heart up to the idea. And my wife was feeling like maybe she wanted to have a kid. [But] I kind of got scared at the last minute because of my age. … Beth thinks we might have regrets. I don’t think I’ll have any regrets. I think I’ll have regrets if she’s unhappy because she wants a kid. I want that woman to be happy. She’s a great woman.” Howard said age killed the conversation, but it also started it: “Maybe because of my age and maybe because of her age it was the last time we could really do this.” And while the baby window had just started to close for Beth, Howard felt it had already closed on him–he’s too old and set in his ways to be the dad he wants to be: “I don’t want to be a shitty father. Or rather, a shittier father.”