The Return Of Sternak The Improbable

May 20, 2013
Photo: The Howard Stern Show

For the first time in many years, Howard donned the sacred turban, and Robin handed over the sealed envelopes. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, It was time for that visitor from a place stranger than JD’s apartment: Sternak The Improbable!

Here are some answers the Great Seer was able to divine:

Ronnie and Minnie. (Name two drivers who shouldn’t be famous.)

Sink or swim. (What is Ted Kennedy’s dating philosophy?)

Two thumbs up. (How Gary proves to people he’s fully evolved.)

Red Bull and Catholic priests. (Name two things that come in little cans.)

Diamond Towel. (How does Crackhead Bob pronounce Simon Cowell?)


Of course, the Great One is also known to throw around an insult or two, and today was no exception. His brilliant, colorful lines included:

“May your internet connection freeze while you’re watching babysitter porn!”

“May Jeff the Drunk guess your phone number!”

“May you come back as the DePace family dog!”

“May your daughter one day be featured on a website Sal looks at!”