The Return Of Sternac the Improbable

Howard dons the sacred turban for the first time in years

May 20, 2013
Photo: The Howard Stern Show

For the first time in many years, Howard donned the sacred turban and co-host Robin Quivers handed over the sealed envelopes. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, It was time for that visitor from a place stranger than JD Harmeyer’s apartment: Sternac the Improbable!

Here are some answers the Great Seer was able to divine:

Ronnie and Minnie. (Name two drivers who shouldn’t be famous.)

Sink or swim. (What is Ted Kennedy’s dating philosophy?)

Two thumbs up. (How Gary proves to people he’s fully evolved.)

Red Bull and Catholic priests. (Name two things that come in little cans.)

Diamond Towel. (How does Crackhead Bob pronounce Simon Cowell?)


Of course, the Great One is also known to throw around an insult or two, and today was no exception. His brilliant, colorful lines included:

“May your internet connection freeze while you’re watching babysitter porn!”

“May Jeff the Drunk guess your phone number!”

“May your daughter one day be featured on a website Sal looks at!”