Actress Kirstie Alley Stops by the Stern Show

December 4, 2013
Photo: The Howard Stern Show

Star of the big and small screens, Kirstie Alley stopped by this morning to promote her now sitcom Kirstie, which Howard – who isn’t a fan of sitcoms – actually liked.

Of course, you know Kirstie from Cheers, Look Who’s Talking, Dancing with the Stars and maybe even Star Trek II: Wrath of Khan.

Kirstie took us through her life – career, religion, weight, sex and drugs – in a very entertaining interview.


* Kirstie married her high school sweetheart at twenty, but divorced a few years later – much to the chagrin of her over-protective mother.

“She had been molested and things like that,” Kirstie said about her mom, and it informed her views on parenting. She kept a tight leash on Kirstie, who naturally rebelled.

* Kirstie got way into cocaine because it made her feel extroverted and ‘peppy’. The first time she tried it she announced “I’m doing this every day for the rest of my life.”

That didn’t work out, naturally.

A friend came to town and turned Kirstie on to Scientology as a way to help curb these urges. Kirstie read L. Ron Hubbard’s Scientology manual “Dianetics” on a big white sofa with a white tray of cocaine.

By the end of the book, she thought “this is either the world’s biggest sham, or the world’s biggest discovery.” Kirstie headed to California to find out.

* Kirstie appeared on Match Game while she was an interior designer in Los Angeles. Howard watched it last night and felt that Gene Rayburn was looking at Kirstie like he really wanted to f*ck her. He didn’t try to, though. Many men didn’t, because Kirstie gives off a very frank and down-to-earth vibe that can be intimidating.

* Even William Shatner never got Kirstie, which is a rumor that George Takei always reported from the set of Star Trek II: Wrath of Kahn. Kirstie said that not only didn’t they hook up, they didn’t get along at all. He even hired an acting tutor for her, a guy who would make Kirstie cut out magazine pictures that represented her character.

* When Kirstie got her role on Cheers, she only agreed to do it because she thought it would make her palatable as a romantic comedy leading lady. She signed a one year contract and, in a rare show business situation, the ratings actually got better when Kirstie replaced the original female lead, Shelley Long. She negotiated a raise for her second season with was about five times her original salary.

* Kirstie fell in love with John Travolta on the set of Look Who’s Talking. He returned the feelings, but their relationship never got physical because Kirstie was married.

She’s still close to the Travolta’s today, though it took a long time for her to get over him romantically. As for the gay rumors that have dogged him for years, Kirstie insists he’s straight. As a matter of fact, Kirstie has several friends who the press says are gay but are not.


* She also fell in love with Patrick Swayze while filming North and South. She wanted him, and they made out, but he was married, so he rejected her sexual proposition.

* While she has been in mostly long-term relationships, she has had a few flings and one night stands. One particularly regrettable one was with a gentleman with a tiny, tiny penis.

He didn’t warn her about his micro-phallus, and had the nerve to dirty talk: “tell daddy what baby wants. Kirstie replied: “Baby wants a dick bigger than an eraser.”

* Scientology has been a major part of Kirstie’s life since she left home to seek out the religion in her 20s. Her mother felt it was a cult, but that didn’t freak Kirstie out. She claimed that it’s not as scary as everybody says it is.

“I have hundreds of friends who have entered and left Scientology. You’re not shunned or chased. It’s bullshit.”

She did block former Scientologist friend Leah Remini on Twitter, because Leah writes horrible things about the religion, and Kirstie got tired of hearing it.

* As for her weight, Kirstie admitted that she consumed 8,000 calories per day at her peak, ballooning up to 230 lbs. It wasn’t the food that did her in, it was the Stewart’s Grape Soda; twelve per day. She lost weight on Dancing with the Stars and she looks pretty good today.

Check out Kirstie’s new show, Kirstie, on TV Land, which also stars Rhea Pearlman and Michael Richards (a casting move that Howard called ‘brave’).

Kirstie is back in the lime light, looking good. Howard pointed out that there were a ton of paparazzi downstairs waiting to take Kirstie’s picture.

Kirstie shrugged it off. “They just want to see if I’m fat.”