Stern Show Recaps the Oscars

March 3, 2014

Howard watched some of the Academy Award last night and had a laundry list of complaints about the extravaganza.

For once, the host didn’t bother him—he thought Ellen DeGeneres did a great job.

As usual, he was bothered by the dresses and hair on the women. Howard realized he hates “gowns” and he really hates when girls pull their hair back in a bun.

No one on the staff understood how John Travolta saw the name Idina Menzel and read it as “Adele Dazeem.”

Howard’s big criticism was the show spent way too much time handing out awards for categories nobody cares about – sound editing, hair, and make-up – while rushing off the stars who are actually interesting to watch.

Finally, Howard marveled at Matthew McConoughey’s acceptance speech for an award nobody thought he’d ever win—the Oscar for Best Actor. He was at ease pontificating in front of luminaries and going on about how he—ten years from now—is his hero.

Howard realized the Matthew from ten years ago, the one running around on the beach with no shirt on, was the guy he was jealous of. It looked like he carved out a pretty awesome life for himself.