July 14, 2014

Longtime Stern Show caller and legendary newscast interrupter Joey Boots called in this morning to talk about an enormous victory.

Boots is famous for jumping behind field reporters and yelling ‘Baba Booey! Baba Booey! Howard Stern’s penis!’

He recently announced his retirement from the art, but that didn’t last long. When he tried to put his hand back in, he was arrested and ticketed.

Joey, the hero that he is, fought it all the way to the top and won.

‘BabaBooeyBabaBooeyHowardStern’sPenis!!!!’ is now protected speech and it’s perfectly legal to yell it at TV cameras in New York.

Joey is so proud of the win that he’s selling autographed copies of the court transcripts for $24.95.

Howard laughed that Joey was walking around like a free speech pioneer like Lenny Bruce. ‘You’re Lenny Boots’.

Joey also revealed that he’s only had sex with four men since coming out of the closet in 2007. He blames the lack of sex on his weight, which he admitted is an issue for him. He can’t eat right, he said, because he lives in the same building as High Pitch Erik.

We’d think that would induce vomiting and a skinnier frame, but whatever.

Anyway, on behalf of derelicts with too much time on their hands everywhere, thanks Joey.

Partial transcript courtesy of Joey Boots