Scott the Engineer Is Smoking Again

September 9, 2014

Hapless audio Engineer Scott Salem (whose last name is a cigarette brand) finally revealed what many on staff have known for months – he is smoking cigarettes again!

Scott, one of the most famous smokers of the 1990s, quit about ten years ago. Countless bits and song parodies have been written about Scott’s habit – everything from his hit ‘Brown Fingers’ to K-Rock General Manager Tom Chiusano pranking him by banning smoking in his production studio. Scott did not take that prank well.

Everyone goofed on his habit for years (though Howard, Robin, Fred, and Gary are all former smokers) and eventually it looked like he kicked it for good.

But, he claimed today that he had been under some undisclosed pressure and had taken up lighting up once again.

Robin couldn’t believe it: ‘You have C.O.P.D.!’ she cried. Scott knew, but evidently didn’t care.

In fact, he went downstairs right after the Wrap Up Show to get his fix. At least he can now smoke out in the open!

Howard was disappointed. ‘The good news is, he’ll be joining Joan [Rivers] soon.’