If Howard were twenty-seven and female, he might be something like Lena Dunham. They at least would've gotten along pretty well – which they do even with the age and gender difference.
Lena stopped by this morning to promote her #1 New York Times Bestseller (we're assuming) 'Not That Kind of Girl'. Here are just some of the stories you can expect from Lena's remarkable life:
Lena was terrified of sleeping, and her sister inherited the same fear. Grace, who is younger than Lena by six years, slept in Lena's bed until Lena was seventeen. Lena even admitting to masturbating in the bed while her sister snored away next to her. It was only once or twice, and nothing that seedy, but odd nonetheless.
Lena, like Howard, suffers from Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder. As a kid, she recalled, she would force herself to imagine her parents having sex a certain number of times, then memorize all the toothbrushes in her house, just in case a scenario occurred where she had to identify toothbrushes.
At nine years old, Lena wrote a vow of chastity on a piece of paper and ate it. She promised to remain a virgin until after high school (and, for better or for worse, she kept the promise).
Her first sexual experience was awkward and terrible (like most first sexual experiences). The guy looked like a middle-aged lesbian and neither of them finished.
Lena was raped while in college, and she speaks eloquently about because she feels it's important to let girls no that 'no' means 'no', and sexual assault can occur at any point – just because a girl is kissing a guy does not mean that she has to have sex with him. Even in the middle of intercourse, if a guy makes a girl do something she doesn't want to do, a sexual assault has occurred.
Lena famously is not shy about showing her body onscreen. She doesn't get aroused filming sex scenes and was surprised that Howard got aroused filming Private Parts.
Here are some of the byproducts of getting naked and simulating sex onscreen:
Getting make-up all over you by 'banging' a guy who is wearing massive amounts of foundation to cover his ass acne (or 'assne').
Kneeing your fake partner in the balls (she's done this to her onscreen love interest Adam Driver many times).
Going home after a day's shoot and, seven hours later, finding a lubricated prop condom stuck in your ass cheeks.
Nowadays, Lena is happy, despite the usual day-to-day gripes. She changed her email address, so she doesn't get hit up for favors anymore and she spends her time reading and hanging out with her boyfriend, fun.'s Jack Antonoff.