HANZI AND ROBIN HOOK UP!

It is the ultimate fantasy of every Stern Show caller to make love to beautiful newswoman Robin Ophelia Quivers. Luckily for Hanzi, he got to do it all weekend – at least, in his deep dark fantasy.

Hanzi, the famous pothead virgin with a million conspiracy theories revelaed that he fantasizes about Robin a lot. While he beats off, he imagines Robin humiliating and laughing at him, then, for some reason – maybe she lost a bet – they make love.

He manipulates her breasts and they have sex – all while, in the real world, Hanzi is rubbing his small penis with two fingers.

He even conjured up a threesome with Robin and another girl, but every fantasy seemed to involve the girls being disgusted by Hanzi and mocking him.

So far, this has all only happened in Hanzi’s head, but if he were ever able to actually get Robin, he would be the absolute King of the Wack Pack and possibly the King of the World.

There’s always hope, Hanzi.