The Lost Bits of the Howard Stern Show

What got left on the cutting room floor?

August 17, 2015
Photo: Getty Images

Howard read an interesting article about “The Late Show with David Letterman” and some of the awesome-sounding bits that, for one reason or another, never made it on the air. He read a few of them to Robin:

-Dave and Merrill Markoe and all the guests do the whole show hooked up to lie detectors.

-Dave dresses up for Halloween as ‘That thing on Aaron Neville’s forehead.’

-Hook announcer Alan Kalter up to a machine that would deliver a shock every time a joke bombs.

-Have a behavioral psychologist stand to the side of the stage and periodically check in with him about Dave’s psyche.

-Blindfold Dave’s stage manager Biff and ask him to identify a Madame Tussaud’s wax figure of a celebrity using only touch and smell.

-A bit called ‘Don Rickles Goes to the Zoo’ where Rickles hurls insults at animals. (Dave admitted this would’ve been tremendous and he would do it today).

-David Letterman himself wanted to install a zip-line from the third balcony down to the stage and start the show on a zip line. It never went anywhere.

For the full article, click here (it’s great)!

This got Howard thinking about all the great bits that we have attempted to do but for some reason or other (often times former K-Rock General Manager Tom Chiusano*) they never made it to air.

-The Heaviest Load Contest (Everybody on staff ‘finishes’ and the loads are weighed)

-The GILF Contest – A Grandmother I’d Like to F*ck

-The Hottest Hoarder Contest

-Cancer Kazoo Karaoke

-Howard chloroform’s Richard, takes his clothes off and moves him to a second location, where he wakes up

-We do a whole episode of the Stern Show while flying high on Ambien

-Benjy Bronk wanted to roast a kid with cancer

-Stern Show writer Richard Christy wanted to cook and eat the placenta of producer Will Murray’s then-unborn baby

Oh, the shows that could have been!

*To be fair, it wasn’t always Tom’s fault. Sometimes we couldn’t find a sponsor for a particular bit or there were actual legal reasons why we couldn’t actually do it on air.