21 Ridiculous Robin Revelations to Celebrate the 21st Anniversary of ‘Quivers: A Life’

Auditioning for porn, befriending a pimp, and seducing a man with lasagna – and that’s just her 20s

April 7, 2016

April 2016 marked the 21st anniversary of “Quivers: A Life,” Robin Quivers’ jaw-dropping, deeply personal autobiography containing a treasure trove of incredible stories and revelations.

Many of them weaved their way into the fabric of the show over the past few decades, but after rereading the memoir — perhaps the most shocking one ever published — we realized many others had never been talked about.

And, so, here are 21 of the silliest, funniest, most scandalous confessions from “Quivers: A Life,” Robin’s gift that keeps on giving.

1. Robin’s date for her senior dance was her father’s co-worker

These days, countless men would jump at the chance to escort Robin Quivers to any social event, but when she was a senior in high school she relied on her father to find her a date to the big dance.

“…in a totally uncharacteristic moment of weakness during my last year of high school, I’d agreed to let my father fix me up with a date for the senior dance.”

Who did her dad choose? Oddly enough, one of his co-workers.

“He was some guy who worked with my father at the steel mill. … I should have known better, but my objective was to go to the dance, not find true love.”

2. An angry Robin used to imagine Howard’s face while jogging

Photo: The Howard Stern Show

Howard’s initial deal with WNBC in New York left Robin stranded in the nation’s capital at DC101. The prospect of being left behind in Washington infuriated her, however. Thankfully, she eventually found a productive way to channel her rage.

“My anger also helped keep me on my diet and exercise program and off cigarettes. … With Howard’s unwitting help, I had begun to jog. I imagined that his face was under my feet every time I took a step. The faster my pace, the more I got to smash his face into the ground.”

3. Robin’s mom hated her singing

The world has since fallen in love with Robin’s singing voice, but when she was a little girl, Robin’s mother discouraged her from doing anything musical.

“I loved to sing around the house,” Robin writes, but says her mom would yell at her to “shut up that noise” whenever she heard her belting out a tune. Her mother also barred Robin from taking piano, violin, and tap dancing lessons.

4. Robin explored careers in both porn and stripping

Robin discovered something new about herself while dating a man named Audry – she enjoyed exhibitionism. She even admits to making love with her old boyfriend in his car, knowing full well that a group of guys were watching her from a nearby truck.

“When we finished, the guys in the truck applauded and I didn’t feel the least embarrassed.”

After Robin’s relationship with Audry ended, she moved to Los Angeles and soon needed to find a job.

“The exhibitionism that had surfaced with Audry began to move to the front of the line in my thoughts about what to do with myself. … Maybe, coupled with my desire to entertain, it would calm my restless spirit. I found myself auditioning for a porn film director, allowing him to take a Polaroid of me naked, then I made an appointment at a strip joint down-town.”

Hard as it might be to imagine, Robin showed up for her interview at the strip club. It wasn’t long before she was asked to take the stage.

“Since I was a novice, the woman on the phone said that I had to come in and dance once for free just to prove that I was going to take the job.”

Robin didn’t dance that night, though they put her on the schedule for later that week and paired her up with another black stripper for orientation. But learning the ins and outs of the club proved to be more than Robin bargained for.

“I left that night and never even called to say I wasn’t coming in.”

5. While visiting a state employment office, Robin met a pimp who tried turning her into a drug dealer and a prostitute

Robin’s foray in the skin trade wasn’t over after she left the strip club. With almost no money left to her name, Robin visited a state employment office. That’s where she met Mel.

“Mel, a leathery-skinned black man with a bad complexion, was in his own messy little cubicle. … I was struck by how much he looked like the photographer Gordon Parks.”

Mel offered to help Robin, but asked her to wait until he got off of work. So, she waited for him all afternoon in the lobby.

“Mel rolled himself into the lobby and for the first time I realized he was a cripple.”

The two then shared a meal while Mel told Robin how he could help her get back on her feet.

“He asked how much cash I actually had on me, and when I told him about a hundred and fifty dollars, he sighed heavily. To get into the game he was talking about would take about five hundred. With five hundred, I could buy some cocaine, split it, dilute it, and turn my five hundred into about two grand. Two thousand dollars would give me room to breathe. Today I’m shocked I didn’t just get up and leave.”

Robin declined his offer to become a coke dealer, but she didn’t leave. After dinner, Mel brought Robin to an expensive hotel and checked her into her own room, which mistakenly led Robin to believe that he was also picking up the tab.

“The next morning, I awoke well rested and feeling good until I passed the front desk on the way to breakfast only to be asked to pay the bill.”

Mel showed up later and made Robin an unusual offer.

“He knew men, white men, who would pay for certain services. … It wasn’t any big deal, according to him. Sometimes they’d pay big money just to look at you. ‘Stand up and take off your clothes,’ he ordered. ‘I have to inspect the merchandise.’ I stood and removed what I was wearing. He beckoned for me to come closer, and when I did he leaned forward, wrapping his lips around one of my nipples.”

That’s when Robin realized what was really going on.

“I finally put it together. … Mel was a pimp, and [the other guy] at the employment office was a spotter. They were trying to get me strung out and then turn me out.”

6. Robin once seduced a man with lasagna

During her Air Force days, Robin worked with a man named David, whom she found very attractive. David needed a place to stay one night, so Robin concocted a plan.

“I was to offer David my spare bedroom along with one of my famous lasagna dinners. … My heartthrob swallowed the bait and the lasagna. And he never made it to the spare bed.”

7. Robin and Muhammad Ali fell in love while posing for a photo

c/o "Quivers: A Life" c/o “Quivers: A Life”

While attending the pre-fight party before the 1987 match between Mike Tyson and Tyrell Biggs, Robin came face to face with her idol, Muhammad Ali. Throughout her book, Robin writes about how influential The Champ was to her while growing up in Baltimore and there was no way she would let this moment pass without getting her photo taken with him.

“We had been facing each other, and now I stepped up beside him so that the photographer could get the shot. … I never planned to do anything more than stand next to my only idol, but once I was at his side, he slid his arm around my waist. I wasn’t nervous in the least, and since he was being so familiar, I put my arm around him. Then he leaned over and placed his cheek against my face. It just seemed natural for me to reach for his free hand. It was shaking from his Parkinson’s syndrome, and he started to pull it away until he realized that I didn’t care. Once he realized this, he relaxed and let me take his hand in mine. All this time the photographer had been standing with camera at the ready, waiting for us to get set. She finally let the huge Polaroid drop to her waist and demanded, ‘Are you two finished?’

‘You’ll have to forgive us,’ I explained, smiling, ‘but we’re falling in love.”

Then Muhammad whispered in my ear, ‘You don’t know how right you are.’

We stood there smiling for the camera. Then the flash went off and I had to let him go. We uncoupled as slowly as we had embraced. First heads, then arms, then fingers once we were too far away from each other to continue touching.”

8. Robin lost her virginity to prove she wasn’t a lesbian

Photo: The Howard Stern Show

While Robin was a student at the University of Maryland, rumors began to spread that she was a lesbian. The reason? She was still a virgin.

It had never occurred to me that I could be a lesbian, and I figured that if I wasn’t a virgin anymore, it would end the speculation of others.”

So, to prove her peers wrong, Robin sought out some sex.

“The lucky man turned out to be a friend of a roommate’s ex-con boyfriend. His name was Billy.”

A lucky man, indeed.

9. Robin repented to Jesus after sleeping with a married man

After losing her virginity, Robin had relationships with a handful of other men, but none prepared her for the passion she experienced with a man she calls Bradley. Their love could never truly be realized, however, as he was married to another woman. They had an affair and it left Robin racked with guilt.

“I thought I could find absolution in church and ended up sitting in a pew crying profusely. … When the minister made a call for sinners, I staggered, blurry-eyed, to the altar, begging for forgiveness. I’d never do another bad thing. I promised God that I’d become a good, Bible-reading churchgoer if He would just make the hurt go away. I came to my senses later that Sunday afternoon in the bathroom of the library where I’d gone for my first Bible reading. Sitting on the toilet, I realized that this whole remorse thing just wasn’t for me.”

10. Robin ‘busted’ a man’s penis stitches by arousing him after his circumcision

When Robin Quivers is in the mood, there’s nothing that can stop her from getting what she wants, as evidenced by this short story from her book:

“[He] had just had a circumcision a week before our first night together. He was under doctor’s orders not to even get aroused, but we wound up busting a stitch or two that night.”

11. Robin’s first therapist rejected her as a patient right after she spilled her guts to him

It wasn’t until well into adulthood that Robin decided to seek the help of a mental health professional. She met with a therapist named Dr. Dornan who listened to her long list of problems.

“Then came the letdown. … Doctor Dornan explained that since it was July and he was leaving for vacation in three weeks, he couldn’t take me on as a regular patient. Before I could resign myself to defeat, though, he said he knew of someone he thought would be good for me.”

12. Therapy led Robin to masturbate for entire weekends at a time

Robin saw her eventual therapist, Dr. London, for several years. However, her sessions prompted an unexpected physical reaction.

“Now, when I started rummaging through my emotional baggage in therapy, I became a cowardly version of the Diane Keaton character in ‘Looking for Mr. Goodbar. … I’d spend entire weekends in bed masturbating, which was difficult because I could no longer conjure up the image of a naked man. It had been a long time between romances, so I turned to Playgirl for inspiration. I’d drive to out-of-the-way magazine stores to avoid the embarrassment of having the corner deli owner who sold me the newspaper know what I was after. Once armed, I could stay busy under the covers for hours until I passed out.”

13. A white Bahamian awakened Robin sexually while she was on vacation

Robin experienced a sexual dry spell for sometime while working at WNBC. A vacation to the Bahamas quickly fixed that, though.

“To my delight, I met a white Bahamian – who even know there was such a thing? … Philip sounded just like Sean Connery even though he looked like Jody from ‘Family Affair’ all grown up.”

She then explained how Philip proceeded to rock her world.

“I hadn’t made love in a long time, and I was terribly nervous, but this young man made me feel truly appreciated all night long. I have no idea where Philip got his stamina. After he left the next morning, I was pleased that both my private parts and my womanly wiles were still in working order.”

14. Robin credits Oprah with turning her on to candlelit bubble baths

Photo: PRPhotos

Robin grew up poor and was made to believe she deserved very little in life. Her successes brought her a fortune, but convincing herself that it was okay to spend her money the way she wanted to spend it was something else altogether.

“I had to teach myself to use other people as examples. … Eventually, I’d learn to luxuriate with the best of them, my seaweed wraps and foot massages becoming the brunt of Howard’s on-air jokes. I even have to thank Oprah for helping me to begin the process of treating myself well. I once heard her talking about candlelit bubble baths on her show and thought that that sounded like something I’d like to do. Pretty soon this ritual became part of my nightly routine.”

15. Robin’s childhood obsession with the ’60s show ‘Ben Casey’ led her to become a nurse

c/o "Quivers: A Life" c/o “Quivers: A Life”

Choosing one’s vocation in life is not usually a decision made on a whim. But for Robin, her decision to become a nurse may have stemmed solely from her love for the hospital drama “Ben Casey.”

“I didn’t want to be a nurse, but when I was a little girl I had fallen in love with the TV show ‘Ben Casey,’ … I identified with the smart woman doctor who was married to Dr. Zorba but who I knew secretly loved Ben. Even in the summer, on Monday nights I’d come in early, leaving my cousin and my brother outside. I’d sit through “Stony Burke” just to make sure I didn’t miss “Ben Casey.” I still thought I wanted to be just like them, and I figured that a nursing degree would allow me to work my way through medical school.”

16. Robin was hung over the morning she agreed to join the Air Force

Another decision Robin made on a whim was joining the United States Air Force. After seeing an advertisement in a nursing magazine, Robin filled out and returned a recruitment card without much thought. Before long, an Air Force recruiter was calling Robin, trying to convince her to enlist. Robin put of her decision for awhile, but the night before the enlistment deadline she decided to go out drinking. Sure enough, the recruiter called again the next morning while she was still sleeping off the booze.

“I just wanted her off the phone so that I could go back to sleep. … The more I tried to say no, the more she talked. The only way to get her off the phone was to say yes. So that’s how I wound up becoming a second lieutenant in the United States Air Force.

17. The Air Force discovered they overpaid Robin $10K, but only after she told them; They still asked for the money back

Robin did well in the Air Force, even rising to the rank of Captain. But while her colleagues complained about what little money they were earning, Robin seemed to have plenty.

“I discovered that the air force had been overpaying me the entire time I’d been in. … I had chalked it up to my being a better money manager.”

She said the overpayments amounted to “a staggering $10,000,” but when she brought it to the Air Force’s attention they asked Robin for the money back.

“I actually became the subject of a criminal investigation. It was ludicrous. I was the one who’d brought the matter to their attention, and these assholes had the nerve to accuse me of intentionally ripping them off.”

18. A former boss once told Robin she needed to work on her ‘nervous giggle’

Photo: The Howard Stern Show

Not many would describe Robin’s now famous on-air laugh as a giggle, but when she was working at one of her first jobs in radio, a station owner did just that when he pulled her aside and suggested she work on getting rid of it.

“…he also felt that he’d noticed a glaring flaw in me that could jeopardize my brilliant career. … I’ll always remember him telling me, ‘Robin, you have the potential to be big in this industry, but you’ve got to get that incessant nervous giggle under control. It can only hold you back.'”

19. After being groped by Kevin Metheny, Robin intentionally spilled her lunch on him

Photo: The Howard Stern Show

There was a lot about WNBC Programming Director Kevin Metheny that Robin didn’t like, but when the man known as “Pig Virus” touched Robin’s ass one day, she made sure he would never make that inappropriate move again.

“I was carrying food back from the commissary when I felt something hit my behind as I passed Kevin in the engineer’s studio. … Rather than make a big deal out of what I suspected was a slap on the behind, I simply upended the tray down the front of his shirt and into his lap. As he was mopping up catsup and picking off French fries, I apologized by explaining that something had brushed against me and made me lose my balance. There was never another problem.”

Also, catsup? No, Robin. It’s ketchup.

20. Robin dated a very well-endowed gentleman named Dwayne

Though she’s known plenty of men throughout her life, perhaps the most memorable is Dwayne. Robin writes that she had known and loved Dwayne from afar since she was seven, but when the two became a couple after high school, there was an issue in the bedroom.

“I loved the way Dwayne kissed, but problems arose when we started making love. … For one thing, Dwayne was hung like a mule. I used to joke that God used so much of him to make his dick, there wasn’t much left for the rest of him. I was a novice, and he was simply too much for me to handle.”

As she later admitted on-air, when it comes to dick size, four inches is fine for Robin.

21. Robin had the urge to flash a car stopped at a red light

And for one lucky, unsuspecting driver, Robin almost offered an unmatched sight after getting a unique urge.

“Then I was gripped by another compulsion. I almost acted on the urge one day as I crossed a street not far from my apartment in Queens. There was only one car on the street, and it was stopped at a red light. As I was about to pass it, I felt an overwhelming desire to rip open my shirt at the driver’s side window. It took an incredible effort to resist and just keep walking.​”