Howard Cures His Own ‘Throat Cancer’

Unexpected consequences from a cup of coffee

July 26, 2016
Photo: Getty Images/iStockphoto

After months of on-and-off complaints about a dry throat causing Gary Dell’Abate-like guttural sounds, Howard reported that he finally got to the root of his issue.

The culprit? Coffee.

“I didn’t know what it was,” Howard said, explaining that he had to assume it was throat cancer despite multiple doctors who signed off on his health.

“You know what you built up – your hypochondria,” Robin suggested.

Ultimately, Howard narrowed it down to a reaction to three possible things: Exercising, baby aspirin, or coffee. After eliminating all three from his life and reintroducing them, he finally discovered it was the coffee.

With the discovery, Howard proudly declared: “I cured my throat cancer!”