Stern Show staffer Memet Walker was brave enough to go out and do some hardcore reporting recently, taking it all off for a naked yoga class. Howard brought him in the studio on Wednesday to share everything he saw (and smelled) at his nude exercise session.
"I'm still sort of traumatized from this," Memet said. "It's so emasculating." He explained how his penis tends to be small when not erect, but when he gets it up he considers his size to be "alright." Unfortunately, his privates were anything but alright at naked yoga.
"When you exercise, your penis becomes smaller," he continued, telling Howard he was disappointed with his penis length, despite stopping at a Dunkin' Donuts bathroom before the class to make sure he was big enough down there to disrobe.
Once nude, Memet grabbed a spot in the back of the class behind the rest of the group, mostly men. "I was thinking it was going to be a mix of girls and guys. It was like 99 percent dudes," he told Howard. He then witnessed 40 or so guys doing downward dog poses, their balls hanging in full view between their legs.
"You're sweating your ass off so I'm literally watching the guy in front of me – water was coming off his balls like a fountain," Memet said. After the class was over, he got to talk to some of nude yoga enthusiasts, including the instructor, who Memet says had the biggest penis in the room.
"The instructor had the biggest penis of all. It was like 8 inches flaccid," he told Howard. Memet asked what the benefits of doing yoga naked were but the instructor explained there really aren't any.
"I like to be naked and some other people like to be naked, too," he told Memet.
"If you had this guy's penis you'd probably think, 'Yeah let's do yoga naked," Memet said.
There were two women in the class and Memet asked them if any of the guys in the class ever get inappropriate with them.
"People are really pretty respectful," one female participant told Memet. "It's there, it's out, look at it or don't. It's up to you." Memet also asked what women in the class do when they're on their periods – supposedly they only bring an extra towel.
Memet did spot one guy get a boner in the co-ed class, however. He later asked the instructor whether or not getting hard during nude yoga was allowed.
"We don't boner shame over here," the instructor told him, though they don't allow people to get off while at nude yoga, either.
Since he stayed nude while interviewing everyone in the class, Memet asked them to describe his penis. He was told it looked like "a beautiful bell," "an acorn sitting atop a stack of dimes," and that his balls were "weird."
"How'd they get you to do this?" Robin asked Memet about his most recent Stern Show assignment.
"You put your balls on the line," Howard said. "You really did."