Good Morning, Everybody!
Howard had Beetlejuice announce the guest for Tuesday morning's show: Wack Packer and former Stern Show intern Medicated Pete. The King of All Media knew he had plenty of ground to cover with Pete, so he called him into the studio immediately.
Gary said Pete was in the building, but was indisposed (a.k.a. he was using the restroom). While waiting for Pete to finish up, Howard shared a few new developments in the Wack Packer's life.
According to Howard, Medicated Pete has been taking the train once or twice a month to Pittsburgh to live with a lesbian couple for a week or so at a time. They took him in like they'd take in a stray cat, Howard explained. Pete met the lesbian couple while on tour with the "Stars of Satellite Radio" and now they're letting him stay with him part time. Additionally, they're paying for everything Pete does while he's there, including sporting events, dinner at TGI Fridays, and trips to the strip club.
Pete finally entered the studio, but before discussing his new living arrangement, they spoke about his post-pooping habits. Pete revealed he washes his hands at least twice after using the restroom, disinfecting them for 10 or 15 minutes per wash.
Pete spoke highly of the lesbian couple who adopted him: "They're nice people, so it's cool they're taking me in."
Robin and Howard wondered what Pete did all day while the women worked. Pete said he listened to the Stern Show in the morning before finally admitting that he also masturbates in their shower — sometimes multiple times a day.
"I finish on myself," Pete said.
O.J., one of the lesbians who took Pete in, called into the show and told Howard she "kind of adopted Pete" because she didn't have much family in town. "He's really good company," she said before explaining that she spends a few hundred dollars on him each time he visits.
As it often does, the conversation turned to Medicated Pete's penis. Howard wanted to know if Pete was circumcised, but the Wack Packer didn't fully understand the concept. "I'm not sure," Pete said. "I haven't been circumcised, so I think I'm uncircumcised."
But O.J. chimed in and said he was wrong; he is circumcised. "I've seen it," she said.
With conflicting reports, there was only one thing left to do: let Robin be the judge. So, Medicated Pete pulled out his penis for Robin.
"It's circumcised, you nutcase," she told him.
Gary shared a theory from Shuli: "[He] thinks that Pete absolutely knows he's circumcised and this is his move so he can show his cock to someone."
Howard wondered what Robin thought of Pete's goods.
"He has a beautiful penis," she said without hesitation.