Former MLB All-Star Lenny Dykstra talked a big game during his first Stern Show visit in June, telling Howard and Robin about his bedroom skills with women. On Monday morning Lenny returned, this time with two lovely ladies who could attest to his talents.
Jessica is a lesbian but admitted she allowed Lenny to go down on her for 22 days straight. "Every day I orgasmed," she told Howard. "He makes very nice movements with his tongue."
She and Lenny were supposed to have a strictly professional relationship after he hired her to assist him during his book tour. But after hearing how gifted he was, Jessica decided to see for herself if Lenny could do for her what he'd done for so many other women.
"I kind of doubted it at first, like, he's talking shit," Jessica said. "After a while I kind of got curious. Yeah, I think curiosity just got the best of me."
She continued: "He gave me a very nice massage. It was supposed to just be a massage but then it escalated."
Lenny described Jessica as being like "candy" and told Howard that her vagina was one of the best he'd ever seen. When asked why Lenny is so good at what he does, Jessica explained it is his "precision and accuracy."
"He's very focused on the clit," Jessica told Howard. "He makes very nice movements with his tongue."
"It's artwork, man," Lenny said.
Jasmine was also in studio on Monday to certify Lenny's skillfulness. Unlike Jessica, she and Lenny went all the way, having full-on sex.
"It was definitely worth it," Jasmine said. "I have a hard time letting go and stuff, but he was very gentle about it." Before they had sex, however, Lenny gave Jasmine his world-famous foreplay, which she detailed for Howard.
"He does this thing with the tip of his tongue where he moves it pretty fast and then slow, and then fast and then slow," she said. Howard asked if it was like a butterfly landing on a leaf. "Maybe, like, two butterflies on a leaf," Jasmine said. Lenny even gave a live demonstration of his artistry on a plastic Fleshlight.
Even with Jessica and Jasmine's seals of approval, Robin Quivers stated she still wasn't interested in doing anything sexual with Lenny. He tried his hardest to convince the Stern Show co-host that he could provide her with pleasure like she's never had before.
"She needs me to help her. She deserves it. She works hard, every day," Lenny said. "There's a seat on the space shuttle. One seat. And by the way, you're going to go somewhere you've never been, Robin. A place that you don't even know exists and when I take you there, you're going to want to go back."
Jessica and Jasmine also tried to persuade Robin to give Lenny a try.
"Robin, you're missing out. You need to get on the space shuttle," Jessica said, which is high praise considering she prefers women to men. "I like pussy just as much as Lenny does," Jessica told Howard. She now gives her girlfriends tips on how to go down on her based on her experience with Lenny.
"I live my life based on three words: honor, code, and loyalty," Lenny said. "I will make you fucking come. I don't stop until they do."
In addition to being tireless in the bedroom, Lenny promised Howard he would also be tireless if he ever meets Mickey Rourke in a cage fight. Lenny challenged the actor, whom he alleges owes him $30,000, to a no holds barred brawl at Madison Square Garden.
"He's going to learn about fucking loss," Lenny said. "Anyone betting, bet on me. The only way I lose is if I fucking die." Whether or not Mickey will accept Lenny's offer is yet to be seen but the actor did have plenty of fighting words for his former friend in August.
Hopefully the two can settle their differences and Lenny can go back to focusing on what he does best: making women happy.
Lenny Dykstra told listeners to check out ReboundFinance.com to get a second chance at financing and building credit.