Emotional Friends Fantasy Football Rift Threatens to Rip League Apart

Howard calls for votes on Michael Rapaport and Matthew Berry

December 7, 2016
Photo: iStock

The Emotional Friends Fantasy Football members (sans Lisa Ann) convened once again in Howard’s studio Wednesday morning to address a growing rift that has been threatening to rip the league apart.

Michael Rapaport, who called in from California, came under fire first for allegedly handing his team over to “fantasy guru” John Hansen in a trade of favors in which he received expert help that led to him getting to the playoffs.

“He just wants to win now so he can yell at us some more,” Gary Dell’Abate said.

“He’s made this into a whole new career,” JD Harmeyer added, in reference to Rapaport’s new weekly fantasy show on SiriusXM.

“It’s like Howard 102 over there,” Jason Kaplan agreed.

Gary took exception with the fact that Rapaport seemed to take credit for his fantasy football fame and hasn’t paid due credit to the show.

“Bullshit! Bullshit!” Rapaport erupted. “I sent you fucking animals t-shirts.”

As for the John Hansen accusation, Michael shot back that the clip they pulled as evidence of his collusion was from years ago.

Rapaport wasn’t the only non-staffer to come under fire, though. “I have a huge issue with Matthew [Berry],” Will Murray said, wondering why the official fantasy football expert, “the Tiger Woods of our league,” did not make the playoffs.

“And then he had the audacity to send me an email saying: ‘Hey, don’t call me out on the air for this stuff. I have a reputation to protect,'” Will alleged.

Berry, who also called in, shot back that he has continually led the league in points, but that making the playoffs was conditional on match-ups. Moreover, he asserted that his note was not in regards to his record, but instead to the fact that ESPN is owned by Disney and thus he cannot be associated with all of the absurd trash-talking which has at times consumed the league.

According to other league members, the feud between Will and Matthew goes back for years and has just now reached the boiling point. Will even asked JD to take a dive against Scott Salem one week this season because he thought it would Berry.

“The name of the league going forward is the Emotional Pussy League,” Rapaport summed up.

With the argument going nowhere, Howard called for individual votes on both Michael Rapaport and Matthew Berry.

In a surprising turn, Rapaport was allowed to remain in by a six-to-three vote after JD revealed he probably wouldn’t leave the league even if Michael remained—despite his previous assertions—causing Will Murray to tip the scales in the actor’s favor.

In (Rapaport): Michael Rapaport, Matthew Berry, Scott Salem, Jon Hein, Will Murray, and Ben Barto
Out (Rapaport): Jason Kaplan, JD Harmeyer, and Gary Dell’Abate

Matthew Berry passed with a more resounding seven-to-two vote, losing only Jason Kaplan, who explained he wanted to remain consistent with his vote and keep it an all-staffer league, and Will Murray.

In (Berry): Michael Rapaport, Matthew Berry, Scott Salem, Jon Hein, Ben Barto, JD Harmeyer, and Gary Dell’Abate
Out (Berry): Jason Kaplan and Will Murray

After both votes completed, Jon Hein threw a new wrench into the mix: “If Jason is the commissioner of this league, I will quit,” he revealed in a rare fit of emotion.

“I have to agree with Jon Hein. Jason is a terrible commissioner,” Berry added.

Will the Emotional Friends Fantasy Football League survive the season intact? Stay tuned to find out.