All Richard Christy wanted was to look at some of his fellow Stern Show staffers' penises, but he wound up getting an eyeful of his best bud Sal Governale's massive hemorrhoid instead. On Monday morning, Howard called Richard into the studio to explain the bit he came up with called "Guess the Staff Cock Vein" game.
"He only pitches ideas that have to do with men's penises," Howard said.
Richard explained he wanted to compare his coworkers' genitals to see if anyone had any unique markings on them, like large veins. "Maybe JD [Harmeyer] has some funny veins that we could laugh at," he told Howard.
Howard wondered if Sal had prominent veins on his penis. If anyone would know, it'd be Richard, but he said he wasn't sure if his good friend had penis veins.
"If he wants to come in, I can check," Richard offered. Seconds later, Sal was in studio with his pants down allowing Richard to get a good glimpse of his penis.
"Wow, that's a real veiny cock!" Richard remarked while looking at Sal's privates. "It's like the River Nile."
Then, it was Richard's turn to show off his manhood. "Oh yeah, there's a nice vein right there," Sal said of Richard's penis. "It's gorgeous."
Both Richard and Sal stated how they suspected the Stern Show staffer with the most veinous penis would be Gary Dell'Abate since he is so "animal-ish."
"He's real hairy and kind of manly," Richard explained. While Gary got a good laugh out of Sal and Richard's theory, he was unwilling to join them in showing his penis. Sal told Gary he wouldn't have to show his entire organ to reveal his veins.
"Wrap your hands around your penis and expose a little chunk of it," Sal told him.
Since he was already exposing his front-side, Sal asked Richard to inspect his backside for visible veins. Richard obliged and announced exactly what he saw.
"I know what you do have, a fucking hemorrhoid!" Richard yelled.
Since Robin is a former registered nurse, Sal asked for her professional opinion on what was happening on his anus. "He's got a protruding butt," Robin said. "There's a bump, like a pimple, and then the hemorrhoid. Oh my goodness, there's so much going on back there."
Howard also took a look and was taken aback at what he saw. "There's something white sticking [out] next to the hemorrhoid," Howard said. "What the fuck is going on in there?"
As alarmed as everyone in studio was while looking at Sal's undercarriage issue, a doctor named Matt called in and said there was probably nothing to worry about, diagnosing Sal's white bump as "basically a skin tag."
"We see it all the time," the doctor told Howard, though he did suggest Sal schedule a colonoscopy to be certain there's nothing serious going on down there.
Rather than publish the pic of Sal's ass (which might break the internet), Richard did his best to draw his buddy's butt and recreate the problem areas. See his sketch of Sal's hemorrhoid and skin tag (below).