There was a new car salesman on the Legend Auto Group showroom floor recently: Wack Pack member Medicated Pete. Even though Pete hasn’t driven an automobile in roughly five years, he tried his hand at persuading some prospective buyers into purchasing a set of new wheels. Dealership owner and longtime friend of the Stern Show Wayne Siegel was nice enough to train Pete on what it takes to make a sale.
“It was a couple of days to get him acclimated to this,” Wayne told Howard on Monday morning. Pete showed up prepared, however, researching ahead of time which models in stock were the best sellers. “That was actually impressive,” Wayne said.
Initially, Pete compared selling cars to a waitress convincing a customer to order the lobster bisque, but after thinking about it, he realized his statement didn’t make much sense. “It’s probably a bad analogy because lobster bisque is good,” Pete told Howard, later saying he regularly eats lobster bisque for lunch.
Pete had a few slip-ups while talking to a few of his first customers, even once referring to a car’s cloth seats as leather. But believe it or not, the Wack Packer was able to sell a “Rogue One” Star Wars Limited Edition Nissan Rogue to a married couple in the market for a new vehicle.
“The wife didn’t want the car. Pete was persistent,” Wayne explained to Howard. To be able to upsell a model like that really impressed Wayne and his fellow sales staff. Pete even negotiated a monthly payment plan on his own. “We were in awe,” Wayne said.
Once the sale was made, Pete was caught on tape repeating the phrase “done deal” over and over again, seemingly to himself. But Pete wasn’t done closing deals just yet.
“Actually, Pete sold two cars” Wayne told Howard. “In one day he sold two cars and it’s not bullshit.”
His salary for the day plus the commission for selling the automobiles amounted to a $500 check, which Wayne presented to Pete on the air. When asked how he was able to succeed so much on the showroom floor, Pete said he owed it all to his “unique personality.”
In addition to selling cars, Medicated Pete has also been laying down music tracks, including a new single called “Let’s All Get Medicated” that he recorded with the Downtown All-Stars of Red Bank.
“It’s a pretty cool jam,” Pete told Howard.
The song received glowing reviews in a write-up from the Aquarian Weekly, which calls Pete’s performance “top-notch.” Check out Medicated Pete’s new single in the audio clip (above).
Howard also asked how Pete’s love life has been lately but the Wack Packer admitted it’s been a very long time since he’s been with a girl. That dry spell has led to him masturbating four to five times a day, including in the shower where he uses his mom’s soap as lubricant. Pete spends a minimum of 45 minutes pleasuring himself even if his mom has to use the bathroom before she goes to work.
“I like to draw it out,” Pete said.
His showers are so lengthy, it’s not uncommon for Pete to use up all of the hot water.
“Your dick must look like a prune, dude,” Howard said to Pete.
The most he’ll jerk off in a single day is seven times and he rejected suspicions that he’s ever done it in the library bathrooms or at the gym.
“This is all because I don’t have a woman,” he continued, telling Howard that beggars can’t be choosers and he’d be willing to date just about anybody.
Check out all of the pictures of Medicated Pete’s day as a car salesman (below).