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Wolfie Interviews His Grandmother From Her Nursing Home

“Stop being a bunch of bitches and wear a damn mask,” the 86-year-old declares to her grandson

November 6, 2020
Photo: The Howard Stern Show

Much has been made of the effect the COVID-19 pandemic has had on the nation’s nursing home community and Stern Show staffer Wolfie recently spoke to his grandmother Verna, an assistant living resident, to give her thoughts. “I think she’s my new hero,” Howard said Wednesday morning before playing audio of the conversation.

“One day we were sitting out in the hall, she was right across from me and she was just walking around, came, sat down on the chair, and just slumped right over and died,” the 86-year-old told her grandson before giving a blunt explanation of what happens with bodily fluids when a person passes away. “Everything leaves them.”

Wolfie went on to tell Howard that while Verna, who has difficulties with her legs, made the choice to move into the nursing home, it’s not exactly easy living. “They fight with each other all the time, it’s like worse than high school,” he explained. “All these old ladies pick on each other, my grandma was calling some lady Rooster and then she got in trouble at the nursing home. It’s a disaster.”

With protocols set in place to minimize the spread of the coronavirus, visits from family members have been cut down and it’s taken a toll on Verna. “I was used to everybody coming around, it makes you sad,” she admitted to her grandson. “I miss them.”

“Some nudnik showed up with 10 people, someone got infected with COVID, so they just locked it down,” Wolfie relayed to Howard of his own attempts at visiting. “So now you can go but you have to sit outside of the building and look through a window.”

When asked about the differences between how her generation – “the greatest generation” as she called it – handled things like the mumps and measles versus how some have responded to the coronavirus, Verna didn’t pull any punches. “The people that are complaining about wearing these masks today, we went through things like this too but we didn’t wear masks. We couldn’t leave the house and they’re all a bunch of pusses the way they’re acting nowadays,” she said before offering her own spirited public service announcement. “Stop being a bunch of bitches and wear a damn mask.”