The coronavirus quarantine has forced nearly everyone to make adjustments in their home life, but for Richard Christy and his family things are still a work in progress. After hearing the staffer wasn’t pulling his own weight with chores and caring for their two-and-a-half-year-old son Carson, a.k.a. “Bubby,” Howard decided to check in with Richard’s wife Kristin to see how she was holding up.
“All I do all day is I pick up everything, which I’m happy to do with Bubby, but when it’s Richard, like, he’s old enough to know [better],” Kristin told Howard on Wednesday.
The notoriously dirty staffer has left sticky beer bottles and open snack bags lying around the house, which have attracted ants. “Sometimes, like on weekends, he’ll watch horror movies or like the Chiefs freaking Super Bowl for the 500th time until like 2 o’clock in the morning and then I go downstairs the next morning with Bubby and there’s just like chips, like just sitting there,” Kristin continued. “It’s frustrating.”
“I feel for you,” Howard told her.
Richard was tasked with watching Bubby while Kristin was on the phone, but eventually the staffer hopped on the line so his boss could set him straight. “What your wife is saying is she needs you to step up and be an adult and clean up after yourself,” Howard told him.
“Yeah, I agree. I mean, I have no excuse. I’m guilty. I’m sorry,” Richard said, explaining he’s working on being “mindful” of his own laziness. “I’m so lucky to have her. I don’t want to screw this up. I’m the luckiest guy in the world,” he added.
Howard wondered how Richard would fare should his wife ever stop picking up after him. “He’d be living like Bigfoot,” co-host Robin Quivers suggested.
“I’d be living like I did when I was living in a storage unit,” Richard said. “I had cockroaches and all kinds of stuff there.”
Not only is Richard failing to regularly clean his surroundings, but he’s also failing to clean his body. Kristin said her notoriously unhygienic husband's odor has become a problem and she wished he'd take better care of himself. “Richard is an awesome husband and an awesome dad, I’ll give him that, but keeping up with the showering will definitely, like, be beneficial to me,” she said.
“What is it that makes you think you’re entitled to not showering and just smelling bad?” Howard asked Richard.
“It’s probably some psychological thing. It’s not on purpose,” Richard said. “Maybe from growing up on a farm and I kind of always equated, you know, manliness with smelliness. All the farmers I knew smell bad and were dirty all the time and I always thought they were cool and manly.”
But Howard wasn’t convinced. “He hasn’t been on a farm in 30 years,” he said.
Richard’s frequently discussed eating habits haven't improved during quarantine, either. In addition to all the chips and beer he's consuming, Kristin told Howard her husband recently ate food which had first been ravaged by squirrels.
“It was fine,” Richard insisted. “I just picked out the fries they had gotten into and then ate the others.”
At times on Wednesday, the staffer could barely get a word in over the sound of young Bubby caterwauling in the background. Howard and Robin wondered if everything was alright. “He’s a handful. He wants ice cream right now,” Richard explained, adding, “He gets in moods when we’re like not giving him a ton of attention.”
While Howard and Robin had plenty of questions and concerns about Richard’s quarantine habits and parenting style, Kristin assured them she was still quite optimistic about her family's future. “I love my life,” she said with a laugh. “I’m very happy with the both of them. Richard makes life very, very fun and Bubby is of course the best boy in the world.”