Whitney Cummings stopped by to promote her upcoming Comedy Central special and recap her controversial set from the David Hasselhoff roast: "I was pretty brutal."
Whitney said her best jokes were cut from the show, as she refused a producers' request to pull the most vicious insults. Whitney said she did offer Pam a 'no hard feelings, they're just jokes' warning before the show, but Pam refused to listen: "She goes, 'There's no such thing as jokes.'"
Whitney said Pam looked too good to carry all the jokes she'd written about her fading beauty, so she went after her sex life--and financial struggles: "She's living in a trailer now, which I actually did a joke about and that really pissed her off. More than the sexual jokes...I said you had AIDS and this is upsetting you?"
Pam shouted back at Whitney during her set and nearly stormed out after: "She was like, 'I want to leave now.'"
The Jokes Comedy Central Cut
Whitney then read some of the jokes Comedy Central had cut from the roast--the set that aired was significantly truncated. The first to take hits was roastmaster Jeffrey Ross: "Your career moves slower than Lisa Lampanelli's metabolism...I wouldn't f' you if I were Linda Hogan and you were a teenager."
Pam Anderson's vagina took a slam with a 'Lost' series finale comparison: "10 million people have seen it, everyone was disappointed and everyone that was in it died."
Pam's work with David Hasselhoff on 'Baywatch' also took a shot: "You're like Abbott and a slut with Hepatitis."
Whitney said the producer/director emailed her as soon as she walked off-stage--the message read: "You f'ed me."
Whitney's Jealous Freakout
Whitney said she'd once flipped out on an ex after being left alone with his laptop: "Which is like the jackpot for a crazy girl."
Photos of another woman ("All photos a woman had taken of herself and sent to him. Some I think he had taken.") set her off--she planned her attack to the last detail: "I went into the bathroom and got ready for a half hour. I put on boots, I put on make-up, I put on a push-up bra. I teased my hair!"
When the guy came through the door, Whitney hit him, threw a wine bottle (to little effect), pushed over his bookcase, poured honey into his keyboard and stormed out. Months later, Whitney learned that the photos had been taken years ago:
"I remember looking at her hair and saying that hair is so five years ago."