He Doesn’t Use L-Words

April 25, 2011
Photo: The Howard Stern Show

Ronnie came in to say he’d been dating Stephanie for four years: “She’s a very good girl, that’s all I can say.”

Robin laughed: “[Then] what’s she doing with you?”

Howard said he’d met her several times over the years (“I think Stephanie’s a very nice girl.”) and demanded to know if Ronnie was in love with her. Ronnie refused to answer: “I like her a lot…I didn’t say I wasn’t, I just say I like her a lot. I don’t like using ‘L’ words anymore.”

Gary said he was confused: “Isn’t ‘like’ an L word?”

Robin noted that Patrick Swayze had used the same ‘I don’t use L-words’ line in some movie, leading Howard to laugh: “I’m Ronnie Swayze!”

Ronnie whined: “She’s a great girl. She’s an awesome girl…what’s the big deal? Why do I have to say it? I say it in different ways to her. She knows. Believe me.”

Ronnie later confessed that he had used the L-word: “I’ve said it to her a few times.” A caller did the math: “Even the age difference between Ronnie and his girlfriend is older than his girlfriend.” Howard translated the numbers: “You’re going to get married. M-A-R-R-I-E-D.”