Andy Cohen Judges Staff Gay Phone Sex

Photo: The Howard Stern Show

Howard patched in the world's "Top Gay," Andy Cohen to judge a competition amongst the Stern staffers to see who could record the steamiest gay phone sex session. The competitors included Jason Kaplan, JD Harmeyer, Ronnie Mund, Scott Salem, Richard Christy, and Memet Walker.

Now, in declaring Andy "Top Gay," Howard took a lot of factors into consideration, but Cohen said he missed the most important one -- "I am a power top," he revealed.

After it was decided that the loser of the competition had to blow Flat Ronnie, the game was on.

JD's Call

Photo: The Howard Stern Show

"My penis went inside me," Andy scolded JD. "It was almost homophobic … Why would I have expected more?"

JD tried to insist that it was like prank calls in that he can't do them without laughing. Everybody found that hard to believe considering his reputation with cam girls. "It's something that's within the realm of your abilities is all I'm saying," Andy said.

"I hope you lose and have to blow Flat Ronnie," Howard concluded.

Ronnie's Call

Photo: The Howard Stern Show

Howard prompted Andy, asking whether Ronnie was good or just creepy.

"Is that good? That is so good!" Cohen praised. "He drives the bus the whole time. He's so descriptive … He keeps raising the bar."

Andy found Ronnie to be a "compassionate lover" and was a huge fan of how he sent them off "with a sweet little goodbye."

Scott's Call

Photo: The Howard Stern Show

Robin predicted that Scott couldn't be very good, but boy was she wrong. "Didn't he tell us he used to swing?" Howard wondered.

"I really liked it that he was kind of huffing and puffing," Andy noted, but Howard insisted that it was his COPD.

"He was better than JD. I don't think he was up to the level of Ronnie … I appreciate his effort," Cohen settled.

Richard's Call

Photo: The Howard Stern Show

"Everybody knows I have a little soft spot for Richard," Andy began."I love his voice."

One part of the call really piqued his interest though."I liked when he said 'creamy load with chunks in it like tapioca pudding.' It was very evocative."

Score one for Richard (though it still might not have knocked Ronnie out of the top spot).

"It was country. I enjoyed that," Andy told Howard.

Memet's Call

Photo: The Howard Stern Show

Howard almost didn't even play Memet's call, arguing that he is new to the show and listeners don't care enough about him, but Andy maintained that he wanted to hear it.

"Wow. I don't know a thing about Memet, but I like his attitude," Cohen concluded after hearing it. "I don't know, he really took this to the next level … It actually made me feel like he did this before."

Memet chimed in that he didn't want to do it at first, but he wanted to be a team player.

Andy was really into the 28-year-old writer, especially after hearing about his appearance too. "I really responded to Memet."

Jason's Call

Photo: The Howard Stern Show

While Howard said he was impressed by Jason's effort, Andy wasn't convinced.

"That was basically straight porn. You could take the voice out and that was him dominating a woman basically," he argued.

Andy's Official Rankings

Top 3:

1. Ronnie

2. Memet

3. Richard

And the bottom spot, of course, goes to: JD Harmeyer.

"Congratulations Ronnie for being the top creep for both men and women!" Howard proclaimed.