Howard's surrogate son and mumbling media producer extraordinaire JD Harmeyer is getting serious with his girlfriend. On Wednesday the Stern Show staffer revealed his unusually normal lady recently made the move to New York. After beginning their relationship doing long distance, the two have finally moved in together!
"Robin, our boy has grown up," Howard celebrated.
"I don't think he's going to come home again. This is it," Robin agreed.
The biggest surprise of the day came when Howard asked JD whether a "mumbling baby" might be on the way, though.
"No baby, but she does want a dog and she does, uh, she's waiting for me to, she does want to get married," JD stumbled. "I think she knows me and she would have to push me into something like that."
While Robin couldn't quite comprehend what he was initially saying, Howard immediately honed in on the important distinction.
"So, in other words, you would keep things the way they are, but she kind of tells you how to be a human being. Like she'll say, 'Now you need to ask me to marry you,'" Howard summarized.
JD confirmed she was pushing for a proposal and further revealed "it will probably be in a few months."
Despite the the ticking clock, JD proved to be far from prepared. He told Howard he has yet to design a ring, ask permission from the father of the bride, or even introduce the lucky lady to his own parents. He did have one piece of important business figured out, though: the prenup. "Even though I don't really have anything I think we talked about something in that vein," he said.
Additionally, JD explained that, while his girlfriend would prefer a very public proposal, he was not prepared to give it to her. "There's no way I could do that," he told Howard.
Howard was quick to come to the rescue: "I offer you my show … That's fucking as public as you get."
JD was steadfast in his decision and declined the offer, unlike his coworker Ronnie "the Limo Driver" Mund who got engaged live on the air in March.
Howard asked to hear a preview of what the proposal would sound like if he wouldn't do it on the show, so JD offered his rough draft: "My dear, you've made me very happy and I'd like you be my wife. Will you marry me?"
Not a bad start.
As far as the wedding party goes, JD said he would consider having Jon Hein as his best man, but conceded the role would most likely go to either his brother or his father.
For now, JD is more focused on getting settled into his new apartment where he'll soon likely be having a housewarming party – and not without controversy, either. When questioned by Howard he admitted certain staffers (namely Jason Kaplan) wouldn't be invited for fear of what they would later bring up on the air.
Howard simply wanted to know where JD was going to jerk off now that he was living under the same roof as his girlfriend ...