The Stern Show Crowns Miss Cocktober 2017

“This is f-cking awesome, dude!” Ronnie Mund declares

October 27, 2017
Photo: The Howard Stern Show

The month of Cocktober may be nearing its end, but on Monday’s Stern Show the staff crowned the new Miss Cocktober, a title which will last the entire year. Four special contestants arrived in the studio to show off their best and biggest assets but only one could walk away with the win.

Stern Show staffers Gary Dell’Abate, Ronnie Mund, JD Harmeyer, Brent Hatley, and Robin Quivers were all on hand to judge the contestants with a 10-point scoring system based on both their beauty, and of course their cocks.

Valentina Mia Valentina Mia Photo: The Howard Stern Show

First up was 24-year-old Valentina Mia who hails from Houston where she spent her youth playing football as a lineman and linebacker, though she wished she could have been a cheerleader or gymnast.

Valentina holds both a master’s degree and bachelor’s degree in economics from the University of Houston and has put that knowledge to use in the porn industry.

“It takes a lot of skills to do what we do,” she told Howard. “[You’ve] got to do your own market research. You have to figure out the way your target audience wants you to perform and what they’re into and the sorts of prices they’re willing to pay.”

With that, Valentina hiked up her dress to reveal her penis and the judges got to work.

Photo: The Howard Stern Show

In the beauty category, Valentina scored extremely high, earning a 9 from Fred, JD, and Ronnie. Gary and Robin both gave her an 8, while Brent gave her a 7. As far as her penis was concerned, she received a 5 across the board, except for JD who scored it at a 6.

Ronnie, for one, was enamored. “This is fucking awesome, dude!” he exclaimed, adding “it’s just so different.”

Brittany Bendz Brittany Bendz Photo: The Howard Stern Show

Next up was Brittany Bendz, a 27-year-old former escort who was known around Washington, D.C. as the “Darling of K Street.”

Brittany, who attended both M.I.T. and Yale for computer science and economics, told Howard she once received $10,000 to spend a night with a man.

She also revealed she has no plans to remove her penis and is in fact attracted to both men and women.

For her beauty, Brittany received a 6 from all the judges with the exception of Ronnie who scored her at a 5. Her penis was not as popular, though, and garnered a top score of 6 from Gary in contrast to scores between 3 and 5 from the rest of the judging panel.

Venus Lux Venus Lux Photo: The Howard Stern Show

Venus Lux arrived third in the studio and impressed the judges immediately. The 27-year-old, two-time AVN Award-winner for Transgender Performer of the Year explained she too had no plans to remove her penis in the future. “I love my cock,” she said. “I don’t feel like my genitalia dictates my gender identity.”

Venus further explained that 80 percent of the movies she shoots are with women. “It’s like lesbian porn, except for without a strap-on. Mine is attached,” she said.

Fred led the judging panel and kicked off the scoring with a 7 for both beauty and cock. Gary, meanwhile, gave Venus an 8 for beauty and a 5 for cock. “It’s not my cup of dick,” he explained. Robin thought the cock was “very nice” and scored it at a 6 with Venus’s beauty at an 8. Ronnie matched Gary’s score, while Brent offered a 9 for beauty and 6 for cock. JD evened out the scoring with an 8 in beauty and 7 for cock.

Mia Isabella Mia Isabella Photo: The Howard Stern Show

The last contestant to step into the spotlight was Mia Isabella who had Brent “salivating like a wolf,” Howard joked.

The Chicago native detailed how she progressively got larger breast implants over the years and even enhanced her butt. With a background in fashion, Mia also dressed some of her fellow contestants for the pageant.

Outside of fashion, Mia touted a successful career in porn, but she has since retired and simply maintains her website for fans.

As expected, Brent gave the first perfect 10 of the day to Mia in the beauty department and a 7 for her cock. JD agreed and matched the 10 in beauty, but upped his score to an 8 for her cock. He was especially enamored with her butt, though. “That’s a good ass,” he noted.

Ronnie, Robin, and Gary all gave Mia a 7 for her beauty and Fred closed out the panel with a 6. Though he gave the lowest score in beauty, Fred did rate Mia’s penis an 8.

“The voting was very, very close,” official scorekeeper Jon Hein announced.

And with a dramatically long drum roll to build up suspense, Howard made the call. “Mia Isabella is Miss Cocktober!” he declared.

Photo: The Howard Stern Show

The official scores had Mia with a 90, followed by Venus at an 84, Valentina with an 81, and Brittany with a 60.

Mia was gracious in victory and had a message for both her fellow contestants as well as anyone listening. “Continue to be your awesome selves, authentic and brave, and maybe one day you’ll become Miss Cocktober.”

See more photos from the Miss Cocktober pageant (below).

Photo: The Howard Stern Show
Mia Isabella Mia Isabella Photo: The Howard Stern Show
Valentina Mia Valentina Mia Photo: The Howard Stern Show
Venus Lux Venus Lux Photo: The Howard Stern Show
Brittany Bendz Brittany Bendz Photo: The Howard Stern Show

To see more from Mia Isabella, head to her website here. Catch Venus Lux in her new movie “Jessica Drake is Wicked” on Wicked’s website. Find more photos and videos of Valentina Mia here. And follow Brittany Bendz on Twitter and Facebook.